“Your best opportunity for connection is when your emotions are negative.” When I heard parenting and relationship expert Georgia Anderson say that, I screamed, “I WILL GET HER ON THE PODCAST!” And boom baby I did! In this truly life-changing episode, I ask Georgia to use her 30 years of experience in relationship and parenting education to help us see how we can employ emotion coaching on ourselves when we FEEL LIKE CRAP!
If you are like me, which on some level I know you are because you are here, when negativity comes up it’s a race to see how fast I can SQUASH it, stuff it down and SHUT IT DOWN. But what if we can USE that negativity for good!?
Georgia helps us reframe negative emotion simply as emotion that gets our attention. What we DO with it once it has our attention is where the magic happens! Responding in a centered way that is connecting is so powerful. Rather than bracing for impact and trying to protect ourselves, what if we saw these times as an opening?
So how do we do this? YOU KNOW we have actionable tools for you! How do we meet negativity in an inviting, purposeful, and powerful way?
1.Meet the person (it could be yourself!!) or situation with compassion. Negativity likely brings suffering, so meeting suffering with compassion makes so much sense!
2.State a positive need. Replace criticism with communicating what you need! Tell me what you want what you really really want etc.
3.Take some responsibility. You don’t have to be a doormat and take blame for things that aren’t true, but find a little piece of the situation you can take ownership for and watch the tension and defensiveness crumble!
4.Proactively build your friendship. Again, this one applies to yourself too! In high tension situations (life) you need a bank full of fun, positive vibes, trust, and curiosity to support you. Invest in the friendship!
Applying these steps really give you tangible ways to reframe, redirect, and really address negativity in a productive and healing way.
Next up let’s talk about a few steps you can take in coaching yourself or others through BIG EMOTIONS! Not that I know annnnnything about feeling big feelings right?
1.Start with your body. Your body feels things first and it really never lies. Be aware of your heart, breathing, tension, and other signs that you are having an emotional reaction.
2.Notice your triggers and increase awareness. As you get more mindful and aware you will start seeing patterns that help you learn the things that affect you.
3.Act to self calm. Self calming is different than numbing and can be found in getting to the root of the emotion to treat it rather than only seeing secondary responses, such as anger. Another tactic is to simply let yourself and others “try again”. A second chance to approach something that didn’t go smoothly the first time is the ultimate show of learning and trying. Simply stating “I feel really angry right now” is also a very powerful tool here!
I would say I hope these things serve you but I don’t even have to hope because I KNOW THEY WILL! As always we go into more depth and detail in the episode so head on over to listen to the full thing now! IT IS SO GOOD!
Eric takes us out with “That is neat” from the Indie Dance Pop collection at Pleasant Pictures Music Club
Awesome things we referenced in this episode:
Gettin’ booky with it!
Other Awesome Stuff
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