I’m Not Fat, I’m Pregnant: Maternity Style

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maternity-ride-it

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I’m possibly 18 or 19 weeks in these pictures. It’s hard to say.

My first and even second trimester with baby #3 have proven, well, challenging in the outfit department. I had more fat to start with (sue me I’m trying to take over the world) and honestly, ALL the maternity posts and maternity outfit ideas I see are from women who will still weigh less than my starting weight…AS THEY GIVE BIRTH. It’s hard out here for a pimp.

I remember reading an article in some magazine where Blake Lively gave her “maternity dressing” tips. She said how she hardly bought ANY maternity clothes, and just got creative with her stretchy clothing. They showed all these GLORIOUS pictures of her looking so insanely good, with just the perfect bump and absolutely no cellulite.

And I remember thinking, “THAT’S CUTE BLAKE. Now hand me a chocolate croissant and my Motherhood Maternity jeans and shut your perfectly formed face.”

KIDDING! I do not want you for two seconds to think I’m skinny-bashing. I sincerely respect and admire those women for working so hard to be BABES. I mean is anyone hotter than Blake Lively? NO. I’m sure I should try harder to be hot. BUT, I’m tired.

And for the most part I feel pretty good about myself. But for some reason, when I get pregnant, I totally start comparing myself to other women’s bodies that I would NEVER have compared myself to if I was not knocked up. I mean, at 31, I know better than to do side-by-side body comparisons with anyone–let alone anyone from the cast of Gossip Girl.

BUT you become pregnant and BOOM! You start thinking, “I should look more like that 90 pound preggers girl…” It’s crazy sauce.

Anyway. This is why I’m stepping out of my usual comfort zone of just looking stupid in pictures, to give you some outfit posts (sigh) of me pregnant AND looking stupid in pictures. It’s HARD to know what to wear when you’re feeling squishy and fat. And since this is my 3rd time. I feel like I’ve learned a couple of things.

When I was pregnant with Rad (my second child) I was in a deep hormonal depression, my husband lost his job, so we had no money, and I was having a pretty rough time. Hahahaha. (That’s an understatement.) I decided to start wearing all black, and deemed it my “Johnny Cash pregnancy” and hoped it would keep me looking slim.

But you know what it actually did? Kept me kind of depressed. I like a lot of black and white (duh) but I’ll never forget the feeling I had when my mom said, “Enough is enough!” And took me to Gap and bought me this bright pink shirt. I looked like a neon pink whale, but I could NOT believe the effect it had on my mood. I just felt happier.

So, this is my advice: If you’re pregnant, your number one goal is to take good care of yourself. If this means you need to sell crap on Ebay so you have money to cheer yourself up a bit, I think you should. You can tell your partner it’s my fault.

Now do you want to see what I’m wearing?! Haha. 

Here are two outfits that have been helping me through that awkward: “I’m not fat, I’m pregnant” stage.

This is a tough stage because your belly is just mushy, especially if it’s your second or third child and you’re not Blake Lively to start. You can do one of two things

1. Hide the bump with flowy things (I tend to do this until I feel like it’s a good non-mushy shape)

or

2. Accentuate the bump to look bigger than it is (or more BUMPy) with skirts you pull up over your stomach, or something absurd like this maternity jumpsuit I got.

At this phase I’m able to mix some non-maternity pieces with maternity pieces. These pictures are a couple weeks old so I think I was 18 weeks?

I have hardly any pictures of me pregnant to show you from my other pregnancies because I was embarrassed of how fat I was/how big my belly got. People were always asking if I was having twins. HA. The funny thing is I look back and think, “I looked fine!” Plus I’m like way bigger this time.

But I have decided to REFUSE to apologize for not being stick thin while pregnant. I’ll start to let those mean, evil thoughts like, “You should have lost weight before getting pregnant…” Or “You were in better shape last time…” or “People are going to judge you and watch you get fat…” creep in my mind. I’ll let it eat me up and cause me to get anxious, cry, or you know start eating! Ha. So my new thing is saying to myself, SELF: I REFUSE TO FEEL BAD FOR THE WAY I LOOK. There are just too many other things to feel bad about! Ha. And it’s kind of my defense/motto as I worry about what people will think about me on social media as I turn into a very unsightly blogging pregnant lady: I REFUSE to apologize.

I can always eat better, exercise more, try harder. BUT hating myself is just not an option. So I’m doing the best I can at that. And sharing this is part of it! So without further ado!

OUTFIT #1: Ride the pregnant pony

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I bought this shirt, it’s NON maternity, and these pants too, RIGHT when I got pregnant. At like 7 weeks. The pants have an elastic waist, and I knew they’d be perfect until about, well now, I’m currently 21 weeks and they are a cutting off the belly. But I wore them a ton in that super mushy phase, and I will be able to wear them soonish after giving birth. And by soonish I mean these will be the pants after my first phases of fat pants. These are second-phase fat pants if you will.

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I wanted to fight the Birkenstock trend so badly! I bought them 7 years ago when they got trendy, and I was like, naw I don’t need to jump on board again. But I kept buying sandals that were NOT comfortable. I feel like I spent $200 NOT buying a pair of Birks. Then I just caved and bought these, and took pictures in them and now they are a tax write off. TAKE THAT WORLD! They feel like little pillows for my feet. I’m just mad I didn’t buy them sooner.

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And this is how you ride the pregnancy pony. I can’t wait to fill this shirt to the brim!

OUTFIT #2: She could be a (pregnant) farmer in those clothes

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I was SOO excited when I saw this pregnancy jumpsuit because well, do you not know how I feel about jumpsuits? I should make a collage of all the ones I’ve worn. I also like how I can put an non-maternity shirt under it. BUT I did have to order like 2 sizes down. So be warned.

Do you want to see how the back looks? Ok. I’ll show you:

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Also, you can only kind of see my shoes but these are the best shoes in the world. The heel is the perfect height and I get so many compliments on them. I wear them all the time so you’ve maybe seen them on ye olde Instagram, but they are the best.

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BUMPIN! And then also don’t the fashion girls give you up close shots of accessories? Like the Katy Perry edition jewlrey they bought from Claire’s with the other 12-year-old girls? No? Maybe?

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Meow.

I did these outfits because I actually wore them. I didn’t just put them on for pictures. Eric took the photos when we were on dates. I’ve been wearing the horse shirt for business meetings a lot. I find it just the right balance of work and play? HAHAHAHA. People give me money. It’s funny.

Also I bought every single piece of both of these outfits, it’s just stuff I love! So here are all the resources or similar things I found for you:

OUTFIT 1: Ride the pregnant pony

Lazy Oaf Pony Shirt – Similar Shirts
Black and White Stripe Pants (on sale!)
Pink Sunglasses
Gold Buckle Birkenstocks

OUTFIT 2: She could be a pregnant farmer in those clothes

Maternity Jumpsuit Order 2 sizes down from your regular non-maternity size – trust me
Cheetah Blouse (mine is older, but it’s a secretary blouse: here’s one)
Jeffery Campbell Shoes with similar caged heel (ALL CUTE!) here, here, here
Meow Cuff is gone! But this one is cute
Sunglasses from Target: Similar AND better and under $5!

Ok! I think you all deserve at least one shot of the photographer (my husband) because he’s a very good model and gets very little credit for it:

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And this is what I look like when I want him to give me the camera so I can see how I look:

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CUUUUTE. Hahaha.

I love you all! I hope you’re doing well.

If you’re looking to read other baby-related things:

the post about what we did when my husband lost his job

my post about being super upset about Rad not being a girl

my post on why your 2nd baby is more fun than your first / with some Rad newborn pix

the BEST harem pants sewing pattern for tiny legs

x0

Alison

 

19 Comments

  1. Emily

    Ok so I feel the exact same way. All those really cute pregnant girls on Pinterest and the like make me a little sad because hello, I have child bearing hips… and thighs? I’m currently 34 weeks with number four, and it’s a high risk pregnancy that might not end well, and maybe I’m getting solace from food SO SUE ME. When the number on the scale started with a 2 I was like WHAT?! And I freaked a little, because I’ve never seen that number before, but I blew past that and I’m embracing harem pants and completely new maternity clothes because I DGAF right now. Ummm what size did you get in the b&w stripe guys? I think I need those for after-pants.

    1. HAHAHAHA I’m with you! like 100% or should I say 200%? I think I got a 10! If that’s wrong I will come and rectify that!

    2. Thank you so much for this post!

  2. Alison, you are adorable! What a great post and great advice. Gorgeous!

  3. That pony shirt is EVERYTHING.

    My squishy bump phase had me calling our baby “Baby Burrito” because I felt like no one could tell I was pregnant, they just thought I’d been overindulging on burritos!! It works out in the end because I was still hiding my bump from work so I too did the blousy shirt thing. And as a bonus, since he’ll be born just before Halloween, OBVIOUSLY I’m going to dress him as a burrito. First Halloween costume – DONE!!

    I love your ethos of not apologizing and I think it’s an important one to remember. Our bodies when pregnant are all so different and sometimes it just is what it is gloriously round and all big or small. I’ve tried to be as healthy and whatnot as I can with this, my first pregnancy (I’m 31 weeks), and avoid the pregnancy bump shamers, but sometimes it’s hard to get those monsters out of my head even if I know better. I’m doing my best to enjoy the heck out of this little mini alien taking over my body, and appreciate all the crazy awesomeness that entails.

    – Kelly

    p.s. I had a hard time finding this post when I came to your site. I don’t know if I’m just inept (it’s totally possible), but I was only able to find it by weaving my way over from Instagram.

    1. thank you so much! I love that! Yes, this site has many, many problems. And I keep throwing parties instead of fixing them! But i swear I’m gonna do it! thanks for hanging in there. also, when I swaddle my babies i always call them burritos! It’s my favorite!

  4. Will it make you feel better to know one day, you will pick out the totally cutest clothes from a Target clearance rack, and totally be in love, and put them in your cart to purchase . . . and note (finally), they are maternity clothes? And your aren’t expecting? And you purchase the cute top (at least) anyway? And you cut the tag out?

    No. Maybe this doesn’t help. Surfice to say one day you will love maternity clothes.

  5. Bethany

    #pregnancygoals

    Bookmarking for future pregnant self. Still a few years away (I’m newlywed), but I’ve been tucking away little cute baby things and whatnot in Internet bookmarks and this is, by far, the best style/life advice I’ve come across! Well done, milady, well done.

  6. Give me all the jumpsuits! How did I not find that jumpsuit for the past 9 months?! At least I have a few waiting for my bowling ball to deflate. Hahahah YOU LOOK FIERCE.

  7. Halie

    Oh my gosh you are so hilarious! I wish I lived in your state so we could be best friends!!

  8. Jennifer

    You look absolutely stunning!!! For realz. I still haven’t lost the baby weight. My son is almost 6….bahahahaha!! I’d have those exact feelings if I were to get pregnant anytime soon. :/. But , not kidding when I say YOU LOOK WONDERFUL AND ADORABLE!!

    1. aw thank you so much!

  9. Whitney

    Thank you so much for this post! I’m barely pregnant with my second baby and it feels just bad and shameful on my body. I’m not going to let it get me though, thanks to this post and your great outlook on life! Thank you thank you! I will take your advice and love myself!!

    -Whitney

    1. aw thank you!

  10. Linds

    Thank you, thank you, thank you. Seriously. I have been following your Instagram for a few months, and I’ve always really enjoyed your posts, but as silly as this may sound, this post has really opened my eyes. I too look at pictures of those skinny pregnant ladies and I tell myself I can’t get pregnant again until I know I’ll look like them. I had actually convinced myself that I’m not good enough to bring a baby into the world because I wasn’t model thin. What a crazy thing to believe! I never really thought a blogpost could shift my paradigms so much. Your post is so amazing and beautiful and honest and refreshing, but most of all, it is real. Thank you for reminding me that I am great just the way I am, and that my soul is the best gift I can give any future child and my body is strong and awesome just as it is. I cannot say enough how much you have truly helped me. Thank you, thank you, thank you all over again. Please never stop being you and I’ll learn from you and learn to be me–and love me just as I see you love yourself. Thank you, Alison. Thank you so much.

    1. wow! Thank you so much! I sincerely appreciate that, and honestly I feel super similar, about not being good enough to bring a baby in this world, for other reasons, and your comment has totally helped me! so much sharing and caring! haha but really, thank you for reading and commenting, it means so much! so much love to you

  11. Sooo basically you’re amazing. First of all, if you showed up to a business meeting in the horse shirt, I’d totally throw money at you. In a really non-stripper sort of way. But also, kudos for being real and cutting the bullsh*t. You look amazing, mama!

    P.S. I occasionally buy maternity shirts at Target because I’m tall and like the way they fit, but then I cut the tags off immediately so as not to scare the crap out of my husband… 😉

    1. Hahaha aw thank you! And I can totally support the maternity shirt! Sometimes you just don’t want your crack showing, hahah you know?!

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