Took a break from the parties today. Taking a break from most things today. I’m in a bit of blah, and writing always makes me feel better. So here we go:
It’s hard, when your head never stops humming, buzzing, or chattering, when it feels like it never stops to take a breath, or rest, or pause, to remember to think beyond yourself.
It’s hard, when you can scroll through your phone all day, looking at other people’s lives, read their thoughts, see their moments, and process them, to remember that they are actual people. Not just characters in some story.
It’s hard not to be selfish, self-involved and vain, because I actually believe that in order to put good into the world, you need to feel good about yourself. And feeling good about yourself does involve thinking about what you need, what you like, what makes you feel content.
But I just have to be so careful not to cross the line, tip the scale, fall into the trap. The trap of being so concerned about ME, and what’s going on with ME, that I forget to look outside myself and see what’s going on with THEM. Whoever they are.
And then I remember something I realized years ago.
Love. Love. Love.
I believe in it so much more with every passing day that when I stop to think about it, really, really think about it—everything else seems trivial, and at the same time huge.
Because if I love you, your problems are real, they are huge to me because your needs are huge to me. And if I love myself, my tiny problems are trivial, trivial compared to what I’m capable of if I just let go and love.
Love is so infinite, so limitless, so powerful. It heals and it expands.
Love creates all things good and mitigates all things bad.
So when I feel powerless, broken, or just plain crazy, I like to think if I just keep loving, with all my might, the pieces will start moving themselves back together—like a giant magnetic puzzle.
And then it will be ok. It’s all going to be ok, because I believe in love.