How to Be Awesome Part 6: Invest in People Who Invest in You

howtobeawesome6

The people who invest in me! Or in a fancy way…

investinpeoplewhoinvestinyou
Thanks Melanie for this!

So in this episode, which is Part 6, holy moly! Part 6 of my How to Be Awesome series I talk about how being awesome means you: Invest In People Who Invest In You!

The questions that prompted this part were, “How do I feel awesome and what should I do when someone is mean to me, I get my feelings hurt, or I feel left out?”

Because even though I’m 30, I’m sorry to say these things STILL HAPPEN. Hahaha. Sometimes people don’t mean to hurt your feelings but they still get hurt! And other times people are being asses and they totally suck. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume that the best, but no matter how you slice it some people are just bullies. As adult females we call those women, “Mean girls” and it’s like a euphemism I think. Mean girls, and mean people are flat out bullies.

But I think the main thing I didn’t expect to still be happening when I was 30 was the feeling of getting left out, or not included. So like I said, I thought about these things a lot, and how as an aspiring awesome human I wanted to handle them, and my solution was:

Invest in people who invest in you.

So check it out and see if you find it helpful! It has really really helped me over the past couple of weeks! I talk about how investments in the wrong people can cause an awesomeness bankruptcy! And when you invest in the right people you will be RICH in awesomeness. I thought I was pretty damn clever.

Also I’m more or less still participating in my own 30 Days of Awesome Challenge! Haha.

For an explanation about this project read: 30 Days of Awesome
For an explanation of the Daily Awesome Quiz go here
For my How to be Awesome video series go here

Hope you love it! And be sure to let me know if you do your awesome homework! Huzzah!

xo
Alison

57 Comments

  1. J

    About a month ago I went through an experience that made me take this approach towards some long time friends. When I talked to my closest friend, in an effort to mend things, she suggested we, as you said “have a feeling fest” and when I said no, she ask if I truly cared about them to begin with since I choose not to “work on it”. That stuck with me, I sort of felt like that may have been the impression I was given (which is far from truth), it was truly about not investing on people who would not invest back on me. When I made the decision, I felt empowered and this post further validated I made the right decision for ME!!! Thank you for this post, we are often so concern about hurting other people’s feeling that ignore ours and this post I felt it reminds people to invest in themselves by investing in people who will invest back on them!

    1. I love that perspective! thank you!

  2. Girlfriend, I am the same as far as being sensitive/getting feelings hurt/wanting a feeling fest. It’s something I’m working on as far as curbing my expectations of other people and knowing when to talk it out and when to shut up. Being hurt has helped me be a lot more sensitive to others, too! Thanks for sharing as always.

  3. Elizabeth

    Alison,
    Where do I begin!? I’ve known of your blog/business for a little while but never felt the need to consistently follow you until now! Your “how to be awesome” series has literally touched my heart and has given me the push I needed. Thank you for being so honest and genuine. I learned something valuable from every video and reminded me… That I am awesome!! Thank you!! It’s so easy to compare our weaknesses with other peoples strength and forget what makes us special. I have been wanting to pursue art for awhile but would let my fear get in the way. The thought, “I can’t paint as well as this person… Or no one will like my work like they do this person.” Was constantly starting at me. But after watching all 6 of your videos I realized how silly I was being! My life is beautiful just the way it is…and I have talents that are unique and only I can offer. Thank you Alison! You’re a sweetheart and have such a genuine love for people;) you are AWESOME!!!!
    Elizabeth Trawater

    1. Thank you so much! that is so amazing to hear! I appreciate you doing your awesome homework! xo

  4. Love this! But what about when a friend stops investing in me because I unintentionally left her out?? Haha – yes, quite the predicament. Like you, I’m floored that this kind of drama and hurt feelings happens well into adulthood. But it totally does. Anyway, thanks for being awesome.

  5. Love you and how you do what you do…I’m almost 54 and your advice rings true. ❤️

    1. Thank you! good to know! haha

  6. Clara

    Alison, I’ve watched all your ‘How to be awesome’ videos and they are inspiring- YOU are inspiring! I have kept the ‘I am awesome’ mantra in my mind & told my partner about not comparing his weaknesses with others strengths. I told myself I was awesome in my gym class& slightly overdid it, but hey, no serious harm done! Your own struggles are really touching & I think you can be too hard on yourself. The care and thought you have put into this series makes this a powerful tool for all of us who strive to be awesome in our own lives. Thank you! Xxx

  7. AJ

    Thanks for this reminder. It does feel so silly when you’re nearly thirty and have the feelings for a high school girl.
    I want to use your How To Be Awesome as my YW curriculum? Do you think the church would go for it? But seriously, I probably will be showing some videos.

  8. AJ

    OF*** a high school girl. Not FOR* yikes.

  9. Jane

    I love this, such an important, yet simple, reminder. I am loving this entire series, in fact. Thanks for sharing – xo

  10. Hey Alison! I LOVE LOVE LOVE your How To Be Awesome series and your dance videos!! I’ve started doing some dance videos too, just on my Instagram. You inspire me to be silly and care less about what people might think.

    Here’s an idea for ya: a post with a list of all the songs you’ve used in your dance videos + your fave songs to dance to!

    1. Aw great idea! THANK YOU!

  11. Alison! I did my homework, but I really have been meaning to thank you for a while now. It’s because of your “be awesome” episode one that I went for it and started my little etsy shop. Here’s the blog post: http://thekostrzewas.blogspot.com/2014/06/inspired-by-awesome.html

    thanks girl! also, does Gigi want a skirt? you’re fabulous.

  12. Melissa Chwast

    I Absolutly LOVE LOVE you even more now for bringing this perspective into light 🙂 I will make my 12 year old wacht this to help him trough 7 grade and of course this mom will be applying this to my own life INVEST IN PEOPLE WHO INVEST IN YOU love itttttttttttttttttttttttt

  13. Kristin Gettle

    I am 40 something and I found this to be fabulous and extremely helpful! Thank you…

  14. You know I did your Awesome Homework! Here it is!

    http://www.cloudydaygray.com/2014/06/feeling-awesome.html

    But seriously. Thank you for being you and sharing your awesome with the rest of us! AND – have fun today with your first Awesome Event!

  15. Alison, you already know that I love the Alison Show so much that I’m naming my first girl Alison. So all I’m going to say is THANK YOU! This series is incredible! https://www.facebook.com/nicolekoliver

    1. awww haha thank you!

  16. Abilu

    Just the advice I needed! I have been struggling with a few friends who are not making the same effort to grow our friendship as I am. Caught up in over analyzing and passive aggressive behavior, I totally lost sight of other friends who ARE making the effort. I had been inadvertently neglecting those friendships (in favor of forcing others) and am so grateful they didn’t drop me. Thanks for the good investment advice!

  17. Anne Marie

    Hi, Alison,
    I have been following your blog and Instagram since meeting you at Camp Mighty a couple years ago. I have so enjoyed your posts and videos. You are so full of life and joy!! Since you’ve started The Awesome Project, I have to say I have become an even bigger fan. What a gift this series has become. I have watched Episodes 5 & 6 countless times now because they hit so close to home. I struggle so much with both issues. I mean, endless thought spins. Ugh. Just hearing you voice these problems aloud and being so thoughtful about how we can counteract those stories we tell ourselves has been so helpful. I love your point about how when we essentially keep pouring our feelings and time into people who don’t invest in us, we are making a bad investment. So much truth right there!!! It seems so simple but that’s really a revelation. I have been working on this for a while and this is more encouragement to keep focusing on the people who want to spend time with me, instead of giving my energy and feelings away on someone who doesn’t. Thank you, thank you, thank you for putting this out there. You’re awesome!!!!

    1. That is so so so sweet of you and good to hear! thank you so much! it means so much to me that you find it helpful! thank you for sharing!

  18. I have just watched all 6 videos, I stumbled across Vid #6 a few hours ago (via an ig pic by Ali Edwards) and I think I have one friendship all rolled up in every one of these videos… in my heart I know all of the negatives … yet I keep going back for more! I feel I give more, do more, bother more, follow up more, support more… though I dont want this to sound like a score card but thats the reality. I have decided this past few minutse to simply do less – telephone less, text less bother less, not so as to be nasty but I simply cant afford for my well to deplete this much this often. Its exhausting. And it leaves me with less to invest in those that truly care, that truly bother, that truly support. Right now..this minute… I have no idea why I have done what I have done… I am super glad and super grateful Alison that everything you said makes complete sense and more importantly makes me want to do something about it xx

    1. that means so so so much! thank you!

  19. I FINALLY did my homework. I love this concept of investing in those who invest in you. It’s a really great thing to remember, and I am going to do better with this. I sometimes tend to invest in people who never return the investment, and I am left feeling less than awesome. 🙂 Thanks for all you do to spread happiness. xoxo

  20. Michelle

    I watched this days ago… really got it…then still had a highschool moment an hour ago when I realised someone unfriended me on fb! Feeling pathetic! I know this stuff yet get trapped anyway!

    1. it’s so hard not to!! thank you for sharing!

  21. I love everything about your series and–duh–the messages you share are so on-point and uplifting, but I just have to say that I’m really happy you’re still doing the fist bump-jazz hands every time you say “How to be awesome” at the beginning of each video. I was afraid it was gonna be one of those things that you’d get insecure about (uhh, mainly because it’s the kind of thing I would get totally inexplicably insecure about–haha) and have it fizzle out and I’m so glad it hasn’t. Just further proof of your awesomeness.

    1. HAHAHAHAHHA so glad you love it!

  22. Joanne

    Got up this morning – a bit cloudy here in Ireland – and read Ali Edwards blog – huge fan of hers for years and saw that she wrote about meeting you on her recent trip to the ALT Summit – and so looked up the Alison Show and ended up spending the morning here ! Loved it – so fresh and real – perfect way to spend a morning – thank you xxxx

    1. aw thank you so much! that’s so sweet! so glad you’re here!

  23. Allison, Thank you for making me smile daily and laugh at least 3x/week because of your awesome Insta posts! Really.

    These videos have helped me get up and start my new business and this video in particular has realized I need to be grateful for all the wonderful people supporting me through this process.

    1. aw thank YOU so much for watching!!

  24. Kristen

    Thank you for sharing! I emailed this to my friends and family! It’s a great thought. I wish I knew better how to walk away or stop obsessing about the people who do not invest in me. I’m working on it. Thanks for the reminder:)))

    1. thank you so much!

  25. Holy crap. This video series is changing my life and I just started watching them last night. I’ve just been so…blah lately and there isn’t a reason for it. I mean, well…to me there is. But really…I’m awesome! I’ve got to stop poisoning my well and give thanks for the things that are awesome in my life. I’ve got to stop giving out my ideas and watching other people use them. I’m just as capable to make them awesome! I’ve totally been investing in the wrong people. My eyes have been opened! My awesome friends are gonna get some awesome thanks today!

    THANK YOU for doing this series. I’m going to keep watching it!

    1. AHHHHH dream comment. thank you so much for sharing! I’m SO SO SO Happy this is helping! GO GET EM and give them hell!

  26. Megan

    Thank you for this because days like this it is hard! When you are 31 and single everyone is investing in their husband and their family, not the friends that have been there their whole lives. I have never felt so alone as i have this past month. Who do I invest in when they are so willing to throw me to the curb when some dude comes around? I just miss my best friends!

  27. Meghan

    You are “fearfully and wonderfully made,” (Psalm 139) *THAT’S* how awesome you are 🙂 You are loved by the One who created you, sista. And you are enough. Keep doing what you seem to do best and that is to celebrate others. Lots of love. xo

  28. Hi Alison,
    I know you did these so long ago but I have only hopped onto the Alison Show bandwagon and I am loving everything about it!! Thank you so much for your daily inspiration and laughs, that not only encourage me and motivate me to be a better person, but to love myself for all that I am.
    I also did my homework from part 6 and passed on your wisdom to others by sharing this quote on my blog for my Monday Happy Mantra!

    http://www.yellowpeachesblog.com/happy-mantra/invest-in-people-who-invest-in-you/

    Much love xxx

    1. AW thank you so much! I appreciate that! I’m so glad you found some value in this!!

  29. Alison

    Alison, I really needed this video today. Thank you so much for sharing this. I am a follower (and a proud namesake) and I was aware of your awesome series, but never felt I needed to watch the videos because I usually have plenty of “awesomeness.” But just in the past couple weeks I have had a hard time with feeling left out, which all kind of culminated over the weekend. It was the latest flare-up in the long-term (9 years!) problem that I’ve had with my sister-in-law’s inexplicable dislike for me – and other family members’ complicit behavior allowing her to be passive agressive. I was wondering what I should do – and “invest in those who invest in you” is the perfect advice for me right now. Do you have any recommendations on how to navigate the tricky waters of protecting your awesomeness when you can’t flat-out disinvest in a hurtful relationship because they are family?

    1. oh man! That is so so tough. thank you for your kind words! I’m gonna send you an email xo

  30. This post is two years old and has still stuck with me. I just wrote a little blurb about how it influence some new resolutions. Thanks for being awesome! XO, AJ

    1. aw that means so much!! thank you!

  31. Em

    In all honesty, I’ve just stumbled across this page whilst googling ‘invest in people who invest in you’ and my gosh have you hit the nail on the head! I’m 23, I’ve just started off my career as a teacher, which means my life has considerably changed, and I have two ‘mean girls’ draining my awesome bank because I can’t socialise as much as I’d like. BUT thanks to you’re advice I’m going to invest in those who invest in me and are supportive! I’m now off to watch the rest of your videos! x

    1. HOORAY! thank you! so much love!

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