Haters Gonna Hate

Trying to shhh Gigi so I can enjoy @metamouse wonderland (house). Seriously if you want to be blown away follow her. She makes me look chill
I have dropped everything I’m doing (which includes frosting a cake, assembling four mobiles, getting dressed and drinking my favorite soda) to write this post.

I have something I want to say, and I hope it doesn’t make anyone feel bad, or as if I’m telling them they are doing something wrong. Because I’m about to give you all some tough love.

I have been blogging for many years now. Not on some huge global scale, but quite a few years. And I have, as you may have noticed a lot of personality and opinions. And over the years people (and mostly anonymously) have been mean to me. They’ve told me I look like I’m on crack, that I’m shallow, and so on and so forth.

As a person who likes to be liked, this can be difficult. But a few years ago, while writhing and wallowing in pain and doubt after such an attack on my character, I discovered the perfect formula for haters.

FORGET IT.

Erase whatever it is, the anonymous comment, the negative remark, the unkind words. Erase them from your memory. Every time they pop up in your brain hit the DELETE BUTTON! I found it is not at all helpful to repeat the story to every person you encounter, or rehash it with all of your “friends” on various social media outlets. Because that keeps the insult alive and fresh. It’s like giving a fire air to breathe and flourish.

Now, you may need to talk to a few trusted friends. Or call someone you know loves you to have them reassure you the person is an idiot. And that’s ok.

But what if they are not an idiot? The reason the “you look like you’re on crack” comment hit hard, is because I’m sensitive about being too over-the-top. I’ve been this way my whole life.

And maybe someone is calling you out on something you’ve done wrong (in a very horrible, horrible way). Well, here’s what I think about that.

At Alt Summit Brooke White of The Girls with Glasses (she was also on American Idol) shared some valuable thoughts that really struck a chord with me. She said, only take advice and criticism from people you know really care about your well-being. Wow! Duh. Why didn’t I think of that.

I have not physically deleted every mean comment (though I do delete anonymous comments). Maybe you feel as though those anonymous comments deserve their space (Due to the nature of my blog, I don’t.) But I have tried as best I can to delete them from my memory and spirit. Because all they do is drag me down.

This is the first season I’ve watched The Bachelor. (I know, I know!) But thing I cannot get over, when Ben sends those girls home, is 90% of them say, “WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?”

And I want to scream, “NOTHING!!! THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!” I’m not saying we’re all perfect, I for one have a TON to work on. But to walk around thinking there is something wrong with you because some man, or blogger, says so…someone who will not remember you in a month! Well, that is just so very very sad. Like it sincerely breaks my heart.

You are beautiful! You are talented, you are brilliant and wonderful. HOLY HELL PEOPLE! Can’t you see it? FIND YOU WORTH! You have it. Only you can be you.

Don’t let the haters hate. Don’t let them bring you down. And for goodness sake, please don’t participate in dragging others down. It’s going to leave you feeling small and insignificant.

I apologize to those I have offended, I offer a hug and tears to those who feel belittled, and I’m giving a HUGE slap on the face to those of you who feel as though you are not worthy of love and dignity (a slap of love).

Ok. That is all.

Except for this again,
beyourselfglitterfool

I love you,

Alison

69 Comments

  1. Adina Marguerite

    Right on! Love this post, you're so right. It's so not worth it to worry about the haters, life is simply too short :-).

  2. Elaine

    Love. this. post.

  3. Lindsay

    I can't imagin one person that could not like anything you have to say! I love everything!

  4. hanner

    i just really have a hard time believing you could offend anyone!! you are just a giant ball o' love.

  5. Sarah Larsen

    I just shed a year while reading this post. Not lying. I read through it and related, (I've had my share of mean anonymous comments) and then I saw that sweet little picture of you all wrapped up in tinsel with the caption "Be Yourself" and it literally brought a tear! You are such a special girl Alison, and I can't believe people would be so lame. But in the end, it's SO true, be who you are. We both have baby girls that will highly benefit from these teachings someday.

  6. naomi

    I actually love that instead of posting on heavy stuff, you just brighten my day. If people are interpreting that as you being shallow then boo hiss to them. Also, I don't wish you were on crack, but you'd probably be pretty awesome entertainment on acid, let's be honest. You're just right how you are, man. Forget those fools.

  7. Jenna

    YES. Thank you.

    And can we please punch the haterz in the throat? Just once? And THEN forget them?

    Just remember this mantra: "Words can't bring me down." ~Christina Aguilera (well, I'm sure someone else wrote the song, but you know …)

  8. Lady Danburry

    agreed. Sometimes mean comments just make me laugh because the person who is hating you is really promoting you by taking the time to bring traffic and comment on your blog.

    In the long run all attention is good attention.

    And…You are a queen.

  9. manda

    as somebody who has lived with you, it seems outrageous that any person could have a negative opinion of you.

    i love/loved/will love you up close or from afar (depending on our geographical locations).

    you were one of the best roommates and are an amazing friend. i miss our chance walk/jogs and your wonderful smile!

    this is too gushy for blogger, but i've typed it and i'm lazy so i'm going with it.

    xo

  10. Brooklyn

    Right on Sister Friend! ๐Ÿ™‚ Love this post! Happy Friday!

  11. meredith

    Well said.

  12. Punky J

    Dear Alison,

    Um you know I've recently become obsessed with you. You're fabulous. I don't know who these mean kids are, but someone needs to give them some cookies and some love.

    I applaud you for standing tall and staying true to who you are. For every one person that has something not so kind to say, there's like a giant hundo of us who have fantastic things to say about you. Embrace the positive, brush off the negative. You're a star.

    Can't wait to show you clay earings!!!

    xoxo jen

  13. Kim Baise

    they're just jealous!haaaa!!
    you rock mama!!!

  14. Courtney Snowden

    I've been wanting to make a t-shirt for such an occasion. Think I'll have one made especially for you to rock…it will read…
    "jealousy is a disease, get well soon bitches" Sorry for the wash out your mouth with soap word, but sometimes naughty words are called for. Love you little girl!

  15. Courtney

    So I've never commented on your blog before, but I love it! I have consciously admired your ability to be yourself and express your personality. So keep rockin' it! It inspires me to have a little more courage to be myself.

  16. Nat

    AMEN SISTER!!!! YOU ROCK, I ROCK, WE ALL FREAKIN ROCK. WE ROCK HARD!!!

  17. Anna M

    fuhgeddaboudit!

    I feel you, lady, and I offer my hearty AMEN! (it especially sucks when people who are supposed to love you write the mean things. hey, fam!)

  18. Chelsea

    You are awesome! Don't change for anyone! My philosophy is (after I had some ward haters) I probably would just completely ignore these people or think they were incompetent if the "haters" gave me this wack of professional advice or social advice. It's erroneous, unfounded, they are not experts or know all of the facts, and doesn't make sense. Why do I care then what they say about me? Depersonalizing the insult makes it all the less hurtful and all the more humorous. Keep on keeping on!

  19. Bridget

    I like you had some NASTY comments and I unfortantly didn't follow your advice and it still hurts. I love that you wrote this and from now on I will follow your advice. Just know that for every hater there are a MILLION who adore you. I just met you and I am like that girl should be my best friend. I adore her! plus at the blogging party you were the talk of the night (in a good way)

  20. mandy dominici

    You are seriously gifted at making people feel awesome. I am so lucky/blessed to know you, and the world is lucky/blessed to have your blog!

  21. Cheryl G.

    You go girl!

  22. moxiemandie

    I'm totally bookmarking this. SO hapy to read it. Thanks ALison.

  23. London

    Well put lady.

  24. sarah marie.

    i obviously don't know you well yet but i have to say that i think you are darling. i love that you are always on fire. (nice fire not mean fire..does that make sense?)your posts and instagrams and pinterest comments always crack me up. so good job being you.

  25. Idle Wife

    Thanks. I needed this today.

  26. Mame

    I LOVE LOVE your blog, mostly because you seem to have accepted your 'over the top'-ness with such dignity and grace. YOu have accepted it as being you and have run with it. I felt like you did that in high school and I was jealous of it!! I too, am an 'over-the-topper' (surprising right? HA!) and I feel like it took me SO much longer to embrace it, accept it, because so many people didn't like it, or made fun of me for it, and finally I have come to learn those are those peoples opinions. Some other people love me for it. Love this post. (and as a multi-season fan of the Bach, EVERY year I want to yell those same things at those girls, it has nothing to do with you personally when it just doesn't work out with this ONE guy).

  27. kaelee

    Why even apologize? this is your space, so say what you want to say, and be who you want to be. I'm not blessed or cursed with a large enough readership to worry about frequent anonymous attacks on my own blog, but I am honestly sick and tired of reading a post or an article online, and scrolling down to see something rude. Regardless of whether I agree with what I read or not, there is no reason to be rude. It is easy enough to have a civil disagreement, is it not?

  28. Emily

    Hi Alison, This is Emily from the dorms, it has been so long, almost 10 years now! I saw a link to your blog on one of my high school friends facebook page a couple weeks ago and have loved checking it out. You are such a fun girl! Congrats on your cute family.

    This is such a great post! Loved that comment from Brooke White.

    XO

  29. meta

    Prefect! I agree with you 100%. You're the best!!!

  30. QT

    Cute post!

  31. Jenny Jackson Kersting

    I just found your blog recently and its one of my favorites. If somebody takes the time to trash you on the web (and especially your blog), they suck! PS-I love the hot pink lipstick you recommended. Its changed my February. Ha!

  32. David and Shalynna

    I can't believe anyone would leave you a mean comment. The internet is so dumb sometimes.

    You're amazing and I think you do a wonderful job sharing love- like you've mentioned before was your purpose for your blog. You have a gift of making people feel individually special. You're just very sweet and it makes me mad that people have made you feel bad with anonymous comments.

    Thanks for the advice to delete/erase/forget bad feelings caused by others. I'm sure that will help me in my life since I'm overly sensitive. ๐Ÿ™‚

  33. Trisha

    Great post Alison! And I for one have never thought you less than amazing! PS: Did you make those floral pants? Because if you did, can I commission a pair? ๐Ÿ™‚

  34. ashley

    You have always been such a positive influence to me… I love this post and love your attitude. You are a kind person Alison!

  35. jenquest13x

    Aww I love your blog! And one of the reasons is the awesome outrageous-ness. It's fantastic! Those haters are lame and just have nothing better to do. You are hilarious, and awesome, and I LOVE IT!

  36. Julia

    Amen and amen! Speak out sistah!

  37. v a n e s s a

    this is good life advice and you are a delight. i think you're really skilled in crafty things and i love that. but i read your blog mostly because i like you/what you have to say! so keep it up!

  38. carla thorup

    You are so great and so is this post. I've never met anyone more themselves than you! Who else would make Utah earrings for stranger friends just because. Mmhmmm. Work it girl!

  39. Sarah van Loon

    Hell. YES! So good.

    I just shared this post with like 4 other people – the world needs to hear this!

    Thank you, Alison. ๐Ÿ™‚ xo

  40. Briana

    I love what you said about "giving the fire room to breathe". Drawing more attention to the situation is exactly what the haters want!

    Douse out the haters comments literally and emotionally!

    Thanks for this post and for being a strong and lovely woman!

  41. Whitney

    Why is your husband so shallow, Alison? from Scott

  42. mer

    Alison, I love you. Every ounce of you and you and I'm sincerely grateful that you will ALWAYS remain YOU.

    xo
    Mer

  43. dana and justin

    love you!

  44. flexMD

    Alison.

    I love this post.

    I love that you are not afraid to be yourself.
    I love the fact that I know someone out there will appreciate the avocado-green and hot pink mumu I just bought.

    I am so proud to know you. People are drawn to women who understand their worth. That is why people are drawn to you. You lift others and help them believe in themselves. I wish I knew more women as confident and as giving as you.

    xox. Knock em dead today.

  45. sarah

    THANK YOU. I discovered your blog last week though I am 100% certain that I also have seen you in pictures from alt summit that some friends have posted. I love you already. I try (and fail) to not criticize those people (like bachelor contestants) who I think are being ridiculous. Because we never know what is behind anothers decisions or the path to where they are. It's a journey of mistakes and triumphs. So I need to better and not judging others or myself too harshly.

    Thank you.

  46. marshall p

    I've always loved your personality!

  47. Edward Quist

    You are my favorite. Keep it coming and great job on TV. Chevron's for everyone!

  48. Jenn Kirk

    My heart hurt for you reading about those mean comments. Way to keep your chin up and for sticking to who you are. I try not to be tit-for-tat, but looking good is the best revenge and you do it well ; )

  49. Gemthomo

    Hell's yeah! I think you're awesome sauce… Rock on!

  50. Jess

    Well said girl! Forget the haters and enjoy your life! Live exactly how you want to live, when you are old you won't have any regrets!

  51. Lexy @ The Proper Pinwheel

    I think that we should be friends in real life. Because you say things like, "HOLY HELL". That is the quote that will probably be on my tombstone.

    Love this post. And I love your gumption. And your pluck. You're plucky. I love it.

    Thanks for the inspiration!

  52. Michelle

    Wow lots of love on this post! and rightly so!! Haters gon hate no matter what….
    I love love your blog and literally get giddy when I see there are unread posts in my reader ๐Ÿ˜€
    Keep on keepin on Girlfran!!

  53. two forks

    nicely said!

    i have been blog stalking you for a while but have never commented.

    i am married to christian (ohpepper.blogspot.com) who knows you and is friends with the mudricks.

  54. Allison Davies

    I totally love quirky, over-the-top people with personality!!!! way to go!

  55. Ginger

    that last picture made me smile, even at my miserable job. thank you

  56. Ginger

    that last picture made me smile, even at my miserable job. thank you

  57. Craig Carda

    Like this blog! It has positive motivational energy that is infectious!@ keep up the good work and it's great you have a little bit of everything for everyone!

  58. oh goodness… girl, you are speaking my language.

    i just wrote a blog post today (http://spencerandkylie.blogspot.com/2012/04/letter.html) in response to some mean comments. i was referred by one of my readers to this post to help me feel better.

    and feel better i do! thank you so much for your words of wisdom – i love it, and i love your approach to this “problem.” i really appreciate you speaking out and spreading the good love with some sensible humor.

    xo
    ky

    1. just checked out your BEAUTIFUL blogs, thanks so much for stopping by and I’m so glad this could be of help to you. your pictures are so amazing and you AND your hubby are total babes. let’s keep in bloggy touch! xo

  59. I can’t imagine anyone saying anything negative about you! I have only ‘known’ you for a very short time and you are just one big, long breath of fresh air. Your energy, humour and zest for life are contagious. Maybe the haters are afraid you might infect them with a strain of your love and positivity – they are by nature allergic. Keep doing you girl – I can’t get enough!

  60. Kida

    Hello, Alison,
    I just stumbled upon your blog, and I love it! I’m a jack-of-all-creative-trades, too. It’s so wonderful knowing there are people like you in this world. When people used to chastise me, my mother would say ‘Take what you need, leave the rest. If you don’t need any of it-DON’T TAKE ANY OF IT!’ Who cares if you’re over-the-top?! If that’s the way you are and you’re happy with yourself, OWN your energy! Only you can make it FABULOUS and IRREPLACEABLE! I’ve owned my flaws, I’ve even come to appreciate some of them! They are what makes each of us who we are, and in this world, any individuality-weakness or strength- sets us to shine differently than all the other stars we live with. Own your shine, own your sparkle, be the best you you can be, and flourish! (Oh, and don’t ever, EVER stop blogging! Especially not because of haters. Naysayers gonna naysay, you’re better and stronger than that!)
    Xoxo,
    Kida

  61. I love this. I’m new to blogging and I’ve heard horror stories about the mean folks, but this is reassuring and I appreciate it. I stumbled over here by way of the Smiths, the House of… to be exact. I’m hooked! So keep up the good work; it’s inspiring. Thanks.

  62. You are the cutest, preach it girl!

  63. Don’t mind me. Just browsing back, and apparently way back reading through your adorable blog. And boy did I need this post today.

    I’ve been dealing with this very thing, this very week! “Friends” who have openly been unsupportive of my new business venture. This is difficult, because I too am someone that needs to be liked, and words of affirmation are huge for me. I love compliments, who doesn’t though am I right? But I also love to give compliments, real ones, so I think it’s fair.

    It sucks to let these comments or hateful feelings not me angry and spiteful towards these people. I definitely called my mom so we could talk about how they are idiots, and that felt better but what it really comes down to is me.

    Curtis and I actually got in an argument about it, and the next day in my wallet was a note from him explaining that I really needed to stop worrying about other people and start worrying about me. He told me there was no limit to my potential and growth and the only thing that could hinder it would be letting other people get under my skin. While these comments suck, and people who feel fine about leaving them indeed suck, it really is better to take the higher road. After all, killing them with kindness is always fun.

    I’m glad we’re friends. I definitely consider you one.

  64. Alyssa

    I just want to say that I truly appreciate your sincerity and your crazy! I, like you and many others, am extremely gifted in the Over-The-Top qualities of life! I’m an opera singer, for goodness sake! I’m an attention whore and I love every single second of it! But I also like being liked by those around me and it has taken a LOT of arguing and rumors and just plain hate to realise that it’s okay to not be liked by everyone. I’m no saint and I know that. Thank you for standing up for those of us who simply think we need to be loved by all ๐Ÿ™‚

  65. holly

    I just stumbled upon your insta account and I think you are so hilarious! I look forward to your future posts and can tell we would really get along! Ba-bam! Keep it up girl!

  66. Jenn

    I love you so much, this is exactly what I needed to hear today. DELETE! Yes! I’ve been replaying stuff for a good long while now and it just gives it life. You are so right! Keep being you girl and I’ll get started on being me! ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. AW I’m so glad! yes DELETE !!!! xo

  67. Michelle

    I don’t know too many crack users personally, but I don’t think you look like one at all. ๐Ÿ™‚

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