I have something I want to say, and I hope it doesn’t make anyone feel bad, or as if I’m telling them they are doing something wrong. Because I’m about to give you all some tough love.
I have been blogging for many years now. Not on some huge global scale, but quite a few years. And I have, as you may have noticed a lot of personality and opinions. And over the years people (and mostly anonymously) have been mean to me. They’ve told me I look like I’m on crack, that I’m shallow, and so on and so forth.
As a person who likes to be liked, this can be difficult. But a few years ago, while writhing and wallowing in pain and doubt after such an attack on my character, I discovered the perfect formula for haters.
Erase whatever it is, the anonymous comment, the negative remark, the unkind words. Erase them from your memory. Every time they pop up in your brain hit the DELETE BUTTON! I found it is not at all helpful to repeat the story to every person you encounter, or rehash it with all of your “friends” on various social media outlets. Because that keeps the insult alive and fresh. It’s like giving a fire air to breathe and flourish.
Now, you may need to talk to a few trusted friends. Or call someone you know loves you to have them reassure you the person is an idiot. And that’s ok.
But what if they are not an idiot? The reason the “you look like you’re on crack” comment hit hard, is because I’m sensitive about being too over-the-top. I’ve been this way my whole life.
And maybe someone is calling you out on something you’ve done wrong (in a very horrible, horrible way). Well, here’s what I think about that.
At Alt Summit Brooke White of The Girls with Glasses (she was also on American Idol) shared some valuable thoughts that really struck a chord with me. She said, only take advice and criticism from people you know really care about your well-being. Wow! Duh. Why didn’t I think of that.
I have not physically deleted every mean comment (though I do delete anonymous comments). Maybe you feel as though those anonymous comments deserve their space (Due to the nature of my blog, I don’t.) But I have tried as best I can to delete them from my memory and spirit. Because all they do is drag me down.
This is the first season I’ve watched The Bachelor. (I know, I know!) But thing I cannot get over, when Ben sends those girls home, is 90% of them say, “WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME?”
And I want to scream, “NOTHING!!! THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!” I’m not saying we’re all perfect, I for one have a TON to work on. But to walk around thinking there is something wrong with you because some man, or blogger, says so…someone who will not remember you in a month! Well, that is just so very very sad. Like it sincerely breaks my heart.
You are beautiful! You are talented, you are brilliant and wonderful. HOLY HELL PEOPLE! Can’t you see it? FIND YOU WORTH! You have it. Only you can be you.
Don’t let the haters hate. Don’t let them bring you down. And for goodness sake, please don’t participate in dragging others down. It’s going to leave you feeling small and insignificant.
I apologize to those I have offended, I offer a hug and tears to those who feel belittled, and I’m giving a HUGE slap on the face to those of you who feel as though you are not worthy of love and dignity (a slap of love).
Ok. That is all.
I love you,