Cleaning baffles me. I am horrible at it. And not because I’m like physically incapable of doing it, or HATE to do it. No, cleaning baffles me for the most part, because even the IDEA of cleaning isn’t on my radar.
I WAS going to start this post, “Cleaning has always baffled me.” But this is not this case. I didn’t even REALIZE that I was bad at cleaning until I became a homeowner.
So that my parents aren’t horrified, I will say I was raised by very clean people. In fact, most of my family is practically OCD. My dad is so enthusiastic about cleaning that he has been known to work himself downright sweaty while demonstrating the proper way to clean up a spill. He then of course has to scrub even more vigorously to erase his sweat when it falls on top of the spill. I lived in terror of “scuffing” a wall and I was never allowed to plaster my bedroom with pictures from Seventeen or Tiger Beat, no, I had a designated bulletin board for my Johnny Depp and Gavin Rossdale clippings. And if I wanted a poster on the wall I was to get it properly framed first. So now that you know I wasn’t raised by ruffians, I will continue.
When Eric and I moved in our house, it was disgusting. My husband had been renting the house for 2 years to 6 college boys (I WILL NOT SAY MEN). When I got behind the oven to clean it I found a baby toy. Did one of the college kids have a baby? NO. The people my husband BOUGHT THE HOUSE FROM did. We did a deep cleaning, removed carpet, repainted walls…and I felt pretty good about things. For a while.
When you live in an old house (ours was built in 1920) nothing ever feels THAT clean no matter how much you scrub. The tile in our bathroom is old, the grout has stains, the windowsills are brown, the linoleum (sigh of shame) yes linoleum in our kitchen looks dirty no matter how often you mop. And we have exactly 3 feet of closet space-no exaggeration. There is no where to put anything.
Before you think I’m endangering Gigi with dirt, I will say I don’t love clutter and I try to put things away, if there is a place to put them. I keep Ginger’s room tidy, and I clean the toilet a lot. Eric and I are pretty good about always doing the dishes and laundry (when we run out of underwear)…but it didn’t occur to me until recently that people like, clean their baseboards. And they do it weekly? They scrub their grout? And correct me if I’m wrong, but vacuuming and sweeping are more of a daily/weekly occurrence as opposed to a monthly one? Do you all really dust? And disinfect your trashcan? No one told me! Or if they did I was too busy playing with modge podge or macrame to pay attention.
Like I said, it’s not that I hate to clean, it’s that it honestly doesn’t occur to me to clean something until it’s visibly dirty. And even then, not until it’s so filthy that I would be embarrassed if someone saw it. AND EVEN THEN, it might take me some weeks to put down my craft projects and get to it.
And speaking of craft projects this brings us to the reason for this post. People often say, “Oh my gosh! How do you get all that done?!” Referring to whatever small, flamboyant project I am no doubt forcing them to review.
And I now realize how I accomplish as much as I do. I don’t spend my time doing what most people do.
1. I hate sleeping
2. I don’t have Facebook 🙂
3. I DON’T CLEAN
If I have 30 minutes in my possession I will never, ever, choose to use it to scrub my cabinets. I will always choose an art project, or exercise, or baking, or posting on my blog. I want to clean, I don’t want people to be afraid to come to my house, but honestly I forget.
I’m fairly sure if I put my mind to it I could succeed, but I’m also fairly sure I will not put my mind to it.
Lately all I can think about is Ginger, sewing, felt, and leather. Which is why my house currently looks like this:
and why my baby has resorted to eating this:
and why my hair always looks like this:
I did however make these!
And a whole line of AMAZING leather mobiles that will be in the shop in the next few days!
I will also be posting a tutorial on how to make a shirt for your baby that looks like this:
Except not EXACTLY like that because it will be finished and also because I later ruined that shirt with an experiment.
But back to how I suck at cleaning. Is it really wrong or lazy of me to want to hire a cleaning person? I feel like I should take pride in my home and clean it myself…then again, I figure if I ate out like 3 times less a month that would pay for it! Thoughts? Help? Tips? Ginger will be crawling soon and I’m sure all hell will break lose.
I LOVE YOU ALL.
The Filthiest Girl You Know