She’s going to be a MOM…heaven help us.

I am so beyond excited to have my little girl… I am GIDDY most of the day just thinking about all the tiny faces she’ll make and noises she’ll gurgle. I cannot wait to play with her, and to see what color her hair is, and to get to know her amazing personality. I cannot wait to read to her, and teach her to shake her bon bon! There are so many things to look forward to.

But as excited as I am to meet my child, I sometimes am not as excited to be a “Mom.” You know, the whole MOM part of that parenting thing. Yes, perhaps I should have thought this through…TOO LATE!

Ha, but the “mom” parts I’m talking about are mostly the superficial and logistical ones. You know, things like, needing “mom jeans,” having a “mom purse” and not realizing it…(though my sister (tenderly) informed me I already have a mom purse…and it’s true, it’s a horrible purse) giving “mom looks” and speaking in “a mom voice.” Pushing a stroller, and carrying a car seat…THEY LOOK SO HEAVY! They are those “Mom” things you wish you could avoid, but know, will inevitably become a reality.

And what makes it all the more stressful is how many glamorous moms surround me, surround all of us. I think there is an UNREAL amount of pressure on moms, especially young moms, to be even THINNER, dress even HIPPER, and be even COOLER, than when they were not a mom. Like, they need to make up for their “momness” by being EVEN MORE of everything. Doing even more amazing things with their time, making the most beautiful meals, and always looking like they are NOT a mom.

I think we see a lot of that in blogging especially. Women who lose their baby weight within mere months, have a perfectly put together nursery, and somehow still don’t seem as frazzled as I am on an hourly basis. How do they do it? I always wonder. And I sincerely don’t think it’s all a matter of everyone “trying too hard” or not having their priorities straight. I just think it always appears, to the outsider, that the other person has it altogether, and we do not.

I was lucky enough to see an early screening of that new documentary “Babies.” (THANKS ERIN!) But I think it’s out everywhere now.

It follows four babies from around the world through their first year of life. And the main thing I took away, other than we as American’s are total WIMPS and way too worried about everything…was this feeling from the moms in Africa.

It shows these women, with the most unsightly, monstrous boobs you’ve EVER seen, and most of the time they are just tending to the babies and children. Now, I’m sure they do a lot of other work. Cooking, washing…but they live in huts, they have next to nothing. So I’m sure their cleaning routine is not as complicated as we all make ours.

Most of the time (in the documentary) they are sitting around, gossiping, and offering mammoth boobs to any child in need. And the part that struck me as so novel was: they don’t look the least-bit antsy about it! They don’t look like they are constantly thinking, “OH CRAP, I NEED TO GET THIS DONE TOO!” They look perfectly content doing exactly what they are doing. Which at this point in their lives, is taking care of their horribly adorable babies.

Anyway. I’m going to try to keep that in mind…you know, when I’m going out of my mind. But another comforting thing, when I start to stress about totally losing who I am and turning into a Momzilla…is this series of commercials for Sienna. Which I think, by the way, are BEYOND genius. I just wish I’d written them.

So here’s to all the mom’s out there, and the people who love them.

I’m making Jesse McCartney’s sage pop lyrics from “Leavin” my new motto: “Don’t stress, don’t stress, don’t stress.”

Oh, and I’m seriously considering a Swagger wagon.



  1. Erin Dougal

    Carseats are really heavy. Those boobs were mammoth. Swagger Wagon is the only cool mom car. And you're going to do just fine!

  2. Matt and Jennae Porter

    Haha I saw the swagger wagon video a few weeks ago and about died. "Straight rockin bake sales w/ my cupcake skillz". Love it. I think you are going to be a wonderful mom! No one is as put together as they appear to be- no worries!!

  3. Brandon + Chelsea + Ella

    Once your little girl gets here, you will care a whole lot less about having the perfect hair, clothes, shoes etc. because no one really is as put together as the pictures in their blogs. Your priorities change though. I've even found myself not buying clothes so I have money to buy Ella more clothes haha As time goes by you will get your new mommy style down and it will feel perfectly natural. You'll still be YOU just with a new darling accessory on your hip! And car seats ARE HEAVY and awkward to carry. I'd start pumping iron now to build up the biceps.

  4. Tim and Sara

    Since Lily was first born and was pretty light I've had to carry the car seat with both hands, square against my chest because I have no arm strength. I was never able to do the whole "loop one arm through the car seat" and carry it thing. I guess you have to get those muscles when you're grabbing the hand of a toddler and carrying the car seat? Wait, what am I talking about, my kids are always going to wear leashes that are sewn to my designer jeans…and helmets. I am already wanting a swagger wagon, because the dog apparently needs more room.

  5. Amanda

    Yeah, infant carriers + a 20 lbs baby = a herniated disc. Maybe it was that plus shoveling loads of snow from our driveway. But fat babies are totally worth it.

    I too was amazed by how calm those Namibian ladies handled motherhood. I mean come on, they used their baby's poop as a way to exfoliate! And that Mongolian mom who just tethered her baby to the bed… I think she's on to something.

  6. hanner

    ohhh i loved "babies." and i just laughed out loud at the thought of you hanging out in relief society (or something) and just throwing your monstrous boob to your child like it's NBD. just don't wipe your baby's poop on your knee.

  7. Nichelle

    seriously i can't stop talking about that movie! i LOVED every minute of it and i really wish we could have seen it together. the mongolian baby was definitely my favorite. he never had any parents around! he was always alone or with his adorable little brother or the goat. i could talk about that movie all day, that japanese girl throwing a dramatic fit over the blocks! i'm so glad you saw it while pregnant like i did. and where did you find that sienna video?! i want a sienna! did you know they have keyless entry hands free sliding doors for when your hands are busy lugging around an 80 lb car seat?! i can't wait for you to be a mom driving a sienna and have your girl soo embarrassed by you and eric driving her around with your loud and outdated usher songs blasting.

  8. Megan

    i know somebody else who shares her boob to a child in need …

  9. Sharon

    Swagger wagon was so cute and funny the first few times. Now that my kids have watched it about a million times, not so much! 🙂

  10. Kassey

    Thank you Alison for being so on point! And for sharing that more than fantastic music video. I've been pressuring my man for a mini-van for months!

  11. jenny

    thinking about your little girl shaking her bon bon makes me so happy. congratulations!

  12. Elle and Jared

    Your post was what I needed today, girl. Pregnancy and motherhood really is complex in terms of identity. Sometimes it's the easiest to take on contrived, superficial female/mom identities because it's easier than figuring out your own, especially because it is constantly evolving. What I'm trying to say is, I'm really a goth girl at heart and you've given me courage to reveal it to the world. Not really, but I am so not wearing foundation today.

    P.s. Jj and abi had baby cleopatra last night!! Yay!!!

  13. Shannon

    I loved this post; made me laugh so hard, esp. about the boobs. Your thoughts about moms needing to be more of everything to make up for the momness was spot on. However, I still think you'll be the hippest mom I know. Really. Let's take our kids hiking next year.

  14. Jake and Jenna

    you have spilled my thoughts exactly. i literally was just about to write a post about parenting and being a crazy mother, and then i read this and BAM. you've already said it all! anyway, i'm obsessed with this video. i'm obsessed with you. i hope little baby has red hair because i will eat her up and call her my little strawberry girl.

    i love you. hope things are good, and i sincerely miss your face.

  15. Andy J

    Is a pretty funny blog about being a neurotic mom….Caution, she DOES use some profanity…

  16. Whitney

    After watching Babies I had the same feeling about being Americans overly cautious with their/our babies. And then I remembered my International Health class at BYU and the words "Infant mortality rate" came to mind. Namibia (home to Ponijao) has an infant mortality rate of 42.3, as compared to the America's 6.3. Sad. Having Jones in Thailand with us and dealing with bacteria in his intestines has also made me feel okay about my American standard of cleanliness and safety.

    However, I support moms relaxing and throwing ideals of being a "cool mom" out the window. Applause to that.

    Also, feast your eyes on this:×272.jpg&imgrefurl=

  17. andrea


  18. Sally

    You know I love those Sienna commercials…been driving it since I was 22. Mine is getting a bit outdated, but I will for sure get a new swagger wagon when the time comes. Just like your friend Chelsea said…those priorities will change a lot. You know it is happening, but you only care on certain days and then you get over it real quick. I'm so excited you are having a girl. I can't wait to see "Babies" even if I can never have their ginormous bosoms.

  19. Bri

    "I'm a cool Mom!" Does wearing barf all over my clothes make me extra cool? Because I have no qualms going out in public barfified anymore.

    So I just found your blog and am so excited that you're having a little girl. I think when I saw you last at the Pinnacle party, I was still expecting my little girl! Good luck!

    -Bri Webb (you know, Adam Webb's wife)

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