So, I knew that we didn’t pay for the cable that we received at our home, but I never really took the time to think about where that wonderful free cable was coming from. And it didn’t occur to me that if we weren’t paying for it…that meant we were stealing it. Hey, I think cable, like Internet, should be free.
I consider not thinking too hard about fairly obvious things as one of the upsides to having a brain like mine. Yes, I might not be able to sleep at night because I’m busy obsessing over the best way to construct an Easter craft or build a terrarium…but I won’t blink twice when it comes to logistics or mechanics.
Apparently one of Eric’s old roommates, back from when our house was filled with stinky boys, had run some wires out to wherever the cable lines were, and we’ve been stealing from the cable company ever since. Lots of the guys who lived there used to install Dish Network, so they were familiar with all that jazz.
Anyway. I’m not a huge TV person. I can’t be, because I’m too easily entertained and too easily addicted to anything I set my mind to. But, I do like my Food Network and, as we all know I LOVE ME SOME America’s Next Top Model.
So I come home on Wednesday, thrilled that it’s time for ANTM, and I turn on the TV. But do I see Tyra and a slew of skinny little model-wannabes? NO! I only see blue. I looked behind the TV and turned it on and off a few times before deciding being married to a handy man like Eric means I don’t have to do crap like that. So then I sat down and waited for him.
Once he got home I asked him to check it out.
And sure enough not only had our cable, that used to rain like manna from heaven, been disconnected, it had been CUT. SNIP SNIP.
WHY OF ALL DAYS DID THEY CHOOSE THE DAY THAT I ACTUALLY REMEMBERED I WANTED TO WATCH MY FAVORITE SHOW!?
I was devastated. And to make matters worse, no one around me has cable either. WHAT’S THE DEAL?
Some might say, “Just watch it online.” But I can’t watch it online, because you can only watch it on CW’s page, and it really really sucks and skips, and pauses and it’s full of the same ad over and OVER. And if I have to watch one more ad for Cervical Cancer I’m going to remove my own cevix with my bare hands. Yeah, I’m that annoyed with them. I don’t mean to be insensitive to the problem, I’ve written an awareness campaign. I know it’s serious. I just can’t watch the same asinine commercial ad infinitum.
Anyway. I think cable might be like a dishwasher. It’s one of those things that you’re fine if you don’t have, but once you do have it, you realize how much more fun life can be.
So now I can’t decide what to do. I’ve narrowed it down to two options.
1. Just get over it and never find out who will be America’s Next Top Model, Chopped Champion, or Project Runway Star…
2. Not only get cable but get a damn DVR as well.
I think I’m pretty productive. And I don’t totally think television is a good thing. But at the same time…I think Tim Gunn is a wonderful thing. So it’s hard to reconcile that.
I feel like everyone I ask about this doesn’t have cable. And I feel like that’s not normal. So cast your cable vote now…or forever hold your peace.
Until then I will continue checking the CW website for the new episode of ANTM…scalpel in hand.