She’s no Gwyneth pt. 2

This week we continue the list that I started last week entitled:


4. Tuck her pajama bottoms into her socks when she goes to bed so her pants don’t roll up while she’s sleeping. (I’m thinking there’s a product idea there)

5. Think about stealing pain pills from the elderly woman she has volunteered to pick up a prescription for. (Nancy couldn’t possibly need ALL this Hydrocodone for herself, could she?)

6. Call her sister 6 times from the grocery store to announce all of the AMAZING deals she’s finding on produce, and then start conversations with the people around her about how excited she is about the new deals on Jalapenos and Cameo apples. (4lbs for $1!)

7. Accidentally NOT change the channel when the Price is Right ends, and then let The Young and the Restless play while she’s returning e-mails.

8. Watch the Price is Right

9. Continue to use a month-old-razor for shaving her legs even though her husband gasped in alarm after seeing the backs of her thighs and ask, “Did you fall on some nails?”

Stay tuned next week as we continue the list of:





  1. Heather

    Haha! I love this!

  2. The Miller Family:

    i went to the price is right once. my friend totally won a car. razors are too expensive

  3. Matt and Jennae Porter

    Something I'm 95% sure Alison Robertson will never do: give her kids dumb names like Apple and Moses (please tell me I'm right about this one!)

  4. Steph Strike

    hilarious, all of them…you've gotta be talking about sunflower market. best produce deals ever, definitely worth the call!!

  5. mjb

    Such a hilarious list.

  6. Nichelle

    was the store buy low??? man i love and miss that store. wed produce, friday meat is the way it goes for deals there. your poor cut up leg! eric was in shock about it: kind of funny, kind of sad. so tute

  7. The Yardley's

    umm, im pretty sure she does #8. everyone does #8.

  8. Alison


    It was Buy Low! And Steph, that's why I kept calling Andrea. She's such a Sun Flower market snob, and I had to prove buy low is AMAZING too!


  9. T.RIPPY

    you're too funny, no–you're the perfect amount of funny.

  10. cropstar

    I love the installments of S.n.G. so much.

  11. Lezlie

    this is good stuff al. I can actually see you in that produce isle. THANKS AGAIN FOR EVERYTHING THAT YOU DID LAST NIGHT… You MADE the party… as always. – that throw away the cake thing still blows my mind.

  12. The Boob Nazi

    Oh Gwyneth. I feel like she's in a completely different world from all of us.

  13. sam & alexis scheid

    i love you.. ur blog.. ur followers.. and that ur so not Gwyneth.. i can't imagine she's even half as cool as you are. She's probably like 5% as cool as u r. or like 3.5% I'm going to go with CAH.. total CAH. Which means she's really not cool at all. I'm team NAH.

  14. caitlin

    so today, i took out a pair of boots that i hadn't worn since last season and i found a dirty sock inside! i thought to myself…Gywenth definitely would not have old dirty socks stuck in her boots.

  15. Erin

    This one is particularly amazing. PS I’m so glad I’m not the only one who watches the price is right. Although, I watch it EVERY DAY, while I’m working, as a nanny. Definitely something Gwyneth Paltrow doesn’t do.

    1. Haha I miss it! we don’t have TV anymore, just hulu and stuff like that!

Leave Some Love

Your email address will not be published.

You Might Also Like

Super Duper Fly Dance Off!

WHOOOOOAAAA! IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HAVE WRITTEN A BLOG POST I almost didn’t know if I could remember how!!! HA! But, I did, and I’m so glad, because I AM NOT kidding you it feels so damn good to be abusing ALL CAPS AGAIN! You know what also feels really really good? …

Build an Awesome Brand Workshop!

Hi! I’m Alison. Over the past 10 years building my business I’ve put my name in lights, danced with thousands of hot babes who believe in their own awesomeness, spoken at huge events, worked with fortune 500 companies, created six-digit yielding courses, hosted nationally recognized online dance contests, started the podcast of my dreams, and basically …

Alison’s State of Affairs April

Reflecting on the source of my strength: my bling. HAHA. But actually just ask Laura, the photographer, what mood I was in. Because it is more accurately reflected below. Well hello!!! Another month has come and gone, and so now it’s time for ALISON’S STATE OF AFFAIRS! Yes,  yes, I know I’m sharing a lot with …

Don't Miss a Podcast!

You're busy and we want to make listening to the podcast EASY. Sign up below to stay up to date!