Here’s my new motto now that I’m 26:
I’m an adult and I can do whatever I want.
Here’s some examples of how this comes into play:
I’m at the gas station filling up my car, I want some candy. Should I go in the market and get some? Oh I shouldn’t, candy isn’t good for me, I should save money…NO! FORGET THAT! I’m an adult. I can eat candy when I want to. I’ll get the damn candy!
Or how about staying up late? I want to watch the last three episodes of season one of the OC. But I have work in the morning, it’s late, I’ll be tired…WAIT! SCREW THAT! I’m gonna’ stay up and see if Marissa finds out about Luke and her mom! (And she does! How could he?)
Yeah, I know it’s a really immature motto. But maybe that’s why I like it. I feel like I’m always being responsible. And I’m over it. You know what else I’m over? Being NICE! Maybe I don’t want to be the nice one anymore!
Cause you know what? I just realized I’m like a small annoying puppy. If you pet me, give me a treat, or even just look at me with a smile I’ll love you forever. But if you use a harsh tone, I’ll roll over and die. However, the second you’re nice to me again I’m your puppet! Snap your fingers and I’ll jump in your lap.
And that’s how it goes. That’s how it is when you’re nice. It would be fine if I wasn’t so sensitive. But I am. I’m really really sensitive, like that stupid puppy. That’s why so many sensitive people are bullies. But I’m not a bully. I’m nice.
And I’m sick of it.
I would be SUCH a good mean girl. Seriously, I’m really good at being mean. I mean, REALLY good. For example I almost clobbered a woman who was being rude at the movie theater the other day (I told you I’m sick of being nice.) She said mean things to me, (I was whispering during the PREVIEWS) but wouldn’t look at me. So I turned around, stared at her, waiting for 10 seconds as she avoided looking at me, then said very loudly in her face “EYE CONTACT!” Yeah, see how mean I am!
More reasons I’m a good mean girl, I’m quick with with words and not afraid of confrontation. I’m also slightly crazy, which means I’ll take things further than you will. I’ll stare longer, speak louder, and fight harder. The problem is I won’t be able to fall asleep for weeks after because I’ll be so worried that I hurt your feelings.
But if wasn’t for that I’d be the PERFECT mean girl.
Anyway, this isn’t to toot my own horn saying what a nice sweet person I am. It’s just to say that this year, I’m putting more people on my naughty list. I’m not killing myself to be nice to people who don’t call me back when I’m calling to say something nice or congratulate them. Even though I don’t call everyone back I’ll at least send a text!
So this is a warning. I’ve got a bucket full of coal and I’m not afraid to use it.
Anyway, maybe I’m just in a bad mood. Maybe it IS that time of the month. But whatever it is, it sure isn’t Christmas cheer.
I feel bad now.
I won’t be mean.
I love you.
You look pretty.
Do you forgive me?