She used to be a blogger.

Remember when I used to blog?

Remember when I used to post almost everyday, and at the very least every week?

Remember how I used to exercise my brain and my vocabulary? And get paid to share my overflowing feelings with you all because I would blog on company time? Remember when I used to get paychecks? Sob.

I have a vague recollection of these events. Though they are clouded with endless episodes of “Chopped” and the coming of the Hot Tamale Train on “So You Think You Can Dance.”

I’m pretty sure I used to be mildly funny, or at least amuse myself. Those were the glory days of SheBlogs SheBlogs. When I could use the word “hundreds” to describe the breadth of my readers.

I guess the problem with the blog is I’ve never really had a hook. You know, a spiel. Most blogs need a good spiel. I guess I could just get pregnant. That would probably give me something to write about. But then I’d have to actually have a baby yeah?

You know who thought of a good shtick? That chick Julie Powell who wrote the blog about making all of Julia Child’s recipes. That’s a good shtick. In fact, so good that she got a book and movie deal out of it. After seeing the previews for the movie I was so excited I felt compelled to buy and read the book! I figured books are usually better than the movie anyway. But let me save you $9 and 300+ pages…wait for the movie. Or better yet, buy a Joan Didion book. Because if you want poignant female non-fiction, she’s a much better bet.

Anyway. I don’t want a one of you to think I’ve given up on my world message of love. Or writing for that matter. I think I just got disillusioned for a while about blogging. I mean, I don’t have a book or a movie deal, so why bother? Then again, perhaps I could get one if I had the shtick. So, please, do write in with your suggestions. That is of course if you’re all still there.

ECCCCCHHHHHOOOOOOOOO

ECHO

echo

echo

I love you. You are perfect just the way you are. You don’t need to be anything more or less. Well, that’s what Bridget my yoga instructor says, right before giving me a foot massage. And I think you should believe anyone who will give you a foot massage.

I’ll be in San Diego for the week. A land devoid of Dunkin Donuts on every corner and littered with beautiful people.

Keep on keepin on lover.

xoxo

Alison

26 Comments

  1. Nichelle

    Yes, you are funny, and most importantly to me, you have life wisdom to share. Thank your mom for probing you to the bone with the, "Well why do you think it is..? Do you really think it's that and not this..?" I learned today that your schtick is empathizing perfectly with people to the point of relieving from them their sense of feeling alone in their crazy brain/life-and people need relief. You can pinpoint why people are feeling the way they are for the situation they are in, and you haven't even lived their life. Do something with this. I know you're humble, but get over it and do it.

  2. roxanne

    I totally did the exact same thing with that book. Fortunately, I got it from the library, but still. Awful book. In fact, I returned it to the library half-way through because I just didn't want to read it anymore. I never do that with books. For some reason, I still kinda want to see the movie though.

  3. Amanda

    I don't have any ideas for you, but I am excited to see you again soon!

  4. Alison

    Roxanne, I still want to see the movie too! I really think it's a compelling story and will make for a perfect screenplay. Plus I feel like there will be more Julia Child! Let's see shall we!

    xoxo

  5. Alison

    Nichelle, you stop being so nice to me. Bestie.

  6. Breanne King

    hhheyyy I'm still here!
    Isn't it funny how when a girl talks about being pregnant her blog all the sudden gets so popular?! Yeah, we're missing the boat on that one.
    I agree with nichelle about the empathizing thing. keep it up.

  7. Patricia

    i think consistently referencing a felt pony named sprinkles is schtick enough. seriously. remember how we lounged in our pajamas until we forced ourselves to go the mall?

  8. The Daily Kirk

    Thanks for the pep talk yesterday. Things are even worse today but I feel better.

  9. Sharon

    good to see you back! i've missed your love!!! have a fun week 🙂

  10. Elaine

    Alison, I hope you keep writing. I think you are SO funny! And I personally don't think you need a hook….you ARE the hook!! I'm pretty sure people read this blog because it's you and you are so awesome!

  11. ashley

    I miss your posts and am glad to see you back on. Alison, you are great! Keep on doing it.

    You better call me if you come up to Los Angeles. Or anywhere even close.

    You better still have my phone number too. Just in case: 801-319-5570.

  12. Tiffany

    one time a stranger started massaging my feet at bryant park…

  13. crystal

    So I always have felt that when people have kids their blogs tend to take a nose-dive. I obviously love babies, but you can only comment that someone's kid is cute so many times… So personally, I like the fact that you blog about things that I can't find anywhere else (i.e. the desire to be a pole dancer).

    P.S. Are you as upset about Janette getting the boot last week as I am?? I was so tempted to quit watching (obviously that didn't happen) but still, I'm just so bothered, what's wrong with you America!?. The only person left that I like is Jeanine and I've probably jinxed her so that she'll be going home tonight…

  14. chooch

    just because it sounds important.. i'll speak up. i LOVE your blog. everything about it. i love how crazy and random you can be. i love how you talk about your husband. i love the sprinkles things. i cried at the pony episode. reading your blog is like a little pick me up for life- you make me laugh and realize it's ok to be you- because people will love you for you.

    alison dear- please never ever ever stop blogging.

    – ♥ ♥ ♥

  15. Harvey Ralph

    I much prefer Frankenstein to blog.

  16. Jennifer

    Hi Alison love, I rarely comment, but I want you to know there are probably not just hundreds but thousands of anonymous readers of your blog just hoping everyday to see a new post from you. I LOVE your BLOG! I feel like in "You've Got Mail" as my heart flutters when I see that "She Blogs She Blogs" has been updated "2 hours ago." Please never stop!

  17. john

    Blog about Eric. Or Blake.

  18. Fish Nat!on

    i used to be a (possibly self proclaimed) quality blogger. this summer has killed my blog. just killed it. I find that the more exciting and busy my life is, the less i have to write about. probably because i dont spend countless hours thinking about random things, which turn into blogs. Instead, i do boring shit like swing into ponds from a rope swing, or riding a bmx bike off of a huge ramp into utah lake.

    Who cares about that?

  19. btw

    remember when we used to be sisters?

  20. Tim

    you're the child molester.

  21. Tim

    you're the child molester.

  22. Tim

    I will keep sending this comment till it gets approved.

    you're the child molester.

  23. Tara

    dearest alison,
    i have secretly been stalking, oops, i mean, reading your blog for some time now. it literally got me through working the worst office job ever, because i would read your post and laugh at my airband dancing, prom planning, booty shaking alison faulker. i no longer have said job (thank goodness), but i still check this thing everyday like an 8th grade girl who keeps calling the boy that just broke up with her, even though they never even held hands. i need you, ali! never stop writing. p.s. megs showed me pics from arin's wedding, and you are looking fabulous!! love the hair!
    much love,
    tara duddy

  24. Alison

    Tim, we both know your mustache suggests otherwise…

  25. Jendar

    I love Dunkin Donuts. As a matter of fact there is one around the corner from my nyc apt and is open 24/7. it has become what Seven Eleven in provo was once for me.

  26. Emily Frame

    i read this entire post top to bottom. with not a single picture. proud? maybe?

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