She has low standards.

When it comes to media in general, I’m a pretty easy-going girl. I have quite a few demands as far as television goes, such as, I only like reality shows that showcase an actual talent, i.e. The Next Food Network Star and Project Runway, and I generally don’t involve myself with sitcoms that fall into the 1/2 hour category other than 30 Rock and The Office.

But I’m not gonna’ lie, when it comes to movies I’ve got pretty low standards. Though I love a long, slow, art film just as much as the next person who will deny being called a hipster, I love every dance movie, most bad teenage romance films, and even Sandra Bullock movies.

I think I have good enough taste and enough dignity to realize which films are ridiculous and which films are real quality. But ever since I found out I’m one of the only people who legitimately thinks “Gone in 60 Seconds” is excellent…I’m not as confident as I used to be. Either way, because I’m easy to please, but also know how to be a critic, I think I’m a pretty good guide to follow. If EVEN I think a movie is a waste of time, it probably is, and if you’re picky and snobby I can tell you what you’ll probably hate.

Because Eric and I have had a lot of leisure time this summer, we are really caught up on most of the new releases. Even on ones I wouldn’t normally care to see. So I’m going to give you the 60 second Alison Faulkner review to help prep you for the upcoming holiday weekend.

Keep in mind there were a lot of new releases this weekend and I haven’t gotten to those. Ok, here’s Alison as a critic.

Transformers: What can I say? I was forced to see it. I will quote what I quipped while watching the first one, “This reeks of testosterone.” I was the only one in the theater that actually laughed out loud at the glamor shots of Megan Fox, but that doesn’t mean she’s not hot. If you like a lot of things blowing up, no plot, endless references to testicles and hot chicks, you’ll love this movie.

Year One: Again, I’m REALLY easy to please. But this was fairly disappointing. There are totally some funny parts, most of which are in the previews. It’s not a total waste of time or worth avoiding, but don’t be too eager about it. The interesting thing about this movie is how biblical it is. That part is not advertised at all.

Land of the Lost: Ok, here’s where my standards really show, I thought this was HYSTERICAL. Even my brother Kirk (who loves all) hated this one. Maybe Eric and I were slap happy, but I thought this was a treat. My prediction is that it will be a Zoolander, people won’t like it or get it the first time, but in the end it will be quoted a ton. Not as good as Zoolander mind you, but there are some gems.

UP: I’ve seen it in 3D and regular. Yes, that’s right. THIS IS THE BEST. I had really high hopes for it and they were exceeded. I bawled and bawled the first four minutes of the movie, it’s the most beautiful love story ever. As for the 3D, there is hardly a difference. So you don’t HAVE to bother. But this movie is great.

Terminator Salvation: This is a decent movie. Again, there’s a lot of testosterone, but it was an amount that I could handle. I could have waited to see it in the dollar theater but if you find this at the right time and the right price, well it’s not too shabby.

Angels and Demons: I think I actually liked this better than The Da Vinci Code. But I did read The Da Vinci Code, and because of it’s silliness as a film had lower expectations for this one. But Eric and I both thought this one was better and pretty interesting.

Star Trek: Obviously you should go see this if you haven’t. Live long and prosper.

My Life In Ruins: Eric and I saw this in Buffalo and we were the only ones in the theater, unfortunately, we were the only ones for good reason. It had some excellent cast members, and good intentions, but as much as I wanted to like it, it was real real ridiculous. I would watch it again as a rent though, just don’t expect My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

As you can see, I’ve seen most of the “boy” movies that are out, so it’s ladies choice for the next few. I totally plan on seeing: My Sister’s Keeper, The Proposal, and Away We Go. So let me know about those. Actually, no matter what you say I’ll probably see them, but you can try and change my mind.

Alright! I love you all, I hope all is well. And happy almost July.




  1. AaReAn

    what about the proposal or my sisters keeper??!! lol you gotta go to AT LEAST the proposal! It was just simply entertaining to say the least.

  2. James, Natllely, Riley & Eva

    I'm with you on transformers..could she have parted her lips anymore…of course my husband loved the movie, but he likes anything that involves things blowing up. it was alittle old after 2hrs.

  3. Cindy

    Oh gosh, I was so relieved when they finally said "I love you" to each other. I didn't think it was ever really going to happen. And then all the robots fought and it was so awesome.

  4. tracyjax

    I was thinking WOW Ali has seen a lot of movies but then I realized that I have seen nearly all of them too–some of them twice! Now I know what I do in my spare time!

  5. ferociousnate

    Women should be banned from seeing the Proposal.

  6. Alison

    Nate, so you're saying you want to see it with me?

  7. Liz

    I agree that Land of the Lost was completely HYSTERICAL.

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