She wants a Snuggie.

Though it may come as a shock, I am a very deliberate and conscious shopper. I’d rather live in a couchless chairless apartment than in an apartment with couches and chairs I do not love. A reality that was hard for Eric to accept when we first moved in together. The boy just wanted a couch! I wanted to talk about the couch for months. But after coming back from a backpacking trip through Guatemala, I realized how liberating it was not to beholden to a bunch of crap. Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of stuff. But I use almost all of it.

Over the last few years I’ve tried to only buy things that I really really want or need. And not just pick something up because it’s a good deal or because I kinda like it. I want to be completely surrounded with things I adore, things that make me happy, and not just a bunch of stuff.

I am also the opposite of a pack rat. If I do not use something it is gone. GONE! Eric lives in fear that I will, without warning, in a fit of frustration with the chaos (that I’ve created) around me, throw away important documents, cords, receipts, or anything that for the moment has questionable utility. I give away clothes almost to a fault. But when I get started I just can’t stop. Throwing things in that big black bag makes me feel so free.

With all this said I have come across something that I really really really want. And to some people (Eric) it might look like a piece of useless junk. But these people just don’t get it. And would you believe it, it’s a product that you can buy off the television. The king of all crap.

It is called THE SNUGGIE!!

It’s a blanket with sleeves! And right now you can get two Snuggies and two book lights for just $19.95! When you pay additional shipping and handling of course.

I very very rarely post youtube videos. But if you haven’t seen the commercial I think you should.

My favorite part is when the family cheers at the football game in matching Snuggies. I know it’s ridiculous. It’s over the top and absurd. But that thing looks so damn useful. Some will argue “It’s just a blanket!”

But it’s not! It’s a blanket with SLEEVES!

“So get a robe!”

But you don’t understand, the Snuggie is soft movable fleece! A robe is heavy and not cuddly!

Every night when Eric and I are reading before bed (yeah, we’ve almost been married a year now…) I have to pull my arms out from under the warm covers to hold my book and I say, “I WAAAAAAAANT A SNUGGIE!”

And yesterday I came across an article that told me lots of other people want Snuggies too. Since the commercial first aired in October they have sold over 4 million Sunggies! TAKE THAT ECONOMY. Apparently even Ellen sported one on her show. Granted she was making fun of it, but obviously it didn’t deter the consumers. There are also tons of Suggie parodies on YouTube and there is even a Sunggie Facebook Page. I’m not on Facebook so I wouldn’t know.

The Snuggie is a total rip-off of The Slanket. THE SLANKET. I’m serious. I don’t know which name is better. But I don’t care, I want me a Snuggie and I want one bad. So, if anyone (HUSBAND) wants to be my Pony-tine this February 14th, they know how to make this freezing lady swoon. One size fits all!

Oh and I want the Sage Green.

xoxo

Alison Snuggie Faulkner

23 Comments

  1. Breanne King

    Yeah, that commercial is astounding. Its just great! But yeah, Eric and Eddie can have a support group. A group for husbands who’s wives through away things they want. Eddie keeps EVERYTHING and I keep NOTHING. Eddie came up with a solution: get me a special trashcan to put in our garage of things I THINK should be thrown away, so that its not gone for good if he still wants it. And then take that out less.

  2. smalldog

    I’m an Air Force brat, genetically bred to throw stuff away at the drop of a hat in prep for a cross continental move. When I whip out a black bag to cleanse with a maniacle gleam in my eyes, people shudder.

  3. Nate Housley

    I think Aaron Monson threw away my working CD player.

  4. Alex

    Okay, not to steal your thunder, but funny coincidence, I came across this Snuggie Parody on YouTube yesterday. (don’t watch if you have sensitive ears)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h05ZQ7WHw8Y

    love you ali, and i hope you get your snuggie! xoxo

  5. chris almond

    this reminds me of a mitch hedberg joke:
    “I wish all my clothes were made of blankets.. that way if I fall asleep in my clothes, F* IT I’m already tucked in.”

    *a swear word belongs here, but i decided to edit it, even though I, personally, LOVE swear words

  6. jenny

    possibly my favorite post you have ever posted. thank you.

  7. max everything

    So, are you going to get one? I bet you sew a much more aesthetically pleasing snuggie. But then you wouldn’t get the book light.

  8. Alison

    max! thank you. I was thinking of sewing one. or at the very least adding a few this and thats to mine when i get one. sometimes I just like to vote with my dollar.

  9. The Yardley's

    gavin tells me everyday all the reasons why i should buy him a snuggie.

  10. Alison

    i have always loved gavin best.

  11. Samantha

    William wants this so bad. I think it’s silly. Isn’t there one called a “slanket” or something?

  12. Alicia

    Scott and I have seen the snuggie commercials several times and have always laughed, but now as I type this I realized you have a point! My arms get cold!!!
    You make us laugh and we love you.
    Also, once upon a time I felt like I was pretty creative and witty, but now all my brains have been sucked out of my head from trying to entertain a toddler all day. So enjoy your witty brain for me.

  13. Craig

    A snuggie would be great right now. You know how cold our house gets when we don’t turn on the heater!

    Quoting from your blog..

    “I am also the opposite of a pack rat. If I do not use something it is gone.”

    Does this mean I can throw away all the boxes and clothes I’m storing for you!?!

    I love you, Dad

  14. Cindy

    I think we should have a craft night where we make our own snuggies.

  15. Liz

    People, if your arms are cold, put on a sweatshirt! Turn on the heater! Drink some cocoa!

    Although I see your point, it always looks so glorious to be bundled up in one of those things.

    But here is the achilles heel: say you’re sitting on the couch in your snuggie, and the doorbell rings. Hell no, I’m not going to the door sporting the snuggie. I’d either have to get out of it real quick, or hide. It would be totally embarassing to be caught red-handed in a snuggie.

    Unless, of course, the person at the door was Alison.

  16. Amanda

    Ben is obsessed with the Snuggie. Not that he owns one and I make fun of him every time the commercial airs, but he thinks the idea is ingenious. I’ll have to let him know of your fascination with it.

  17. Dari

    I totally have one of these and it is fabulous! My dad bought my mom, sis, and I one for Christmas. My mom’s reaction to the gift was HILARIOUS! But I love mine and I make everyone that comes over, try it on. But I am the one that gets to use it… sorry house guests.

  18. emilyhutchison

    Good news Ali. Today I was at a local Walgreens and they sell the snuggie there. Maybe you can even buy two with the money you save on shipping. That’s a deal even businessman Eric has to support.

  19. Alison

    HUTCH BLESS YOU!

  20. JenErik

    Erik and I both fell over laughing the first time we saw that commercial. I just love the people they chose, how awkward that lady is when she is reading, or reaching for the phone and the blanket is falling off – oh boy. Only you Ali would truly want a Snuggie. Isn’t a snuggie another name for a wedgie?

  21. james

    did you know joe was set to do the copyright work for the slanket, but then never got around to it when school got busy? he couldve really made it.

  22. Matt and Jennae Porter

    Ok seriously Alison I hope you see this comment, I know it was a few posts ago but I have to tell you that I WANT A SNUGGIE SO BAD TOO. It has to be the best invention ever. I have been asking Matt for one for the longest time, I think he thinks I’m joking?!

  23. coffee maker

    sure enough the Snuggie infomercials draw in my attention like a magnet, though i haven’t gotten the point of actually buying one yet

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