She’s in love…

With herself.

Ok ok. I’ll explain.

Some days I really really don’t like myself. These are the days when I notice my jeans are too tight, but I don’t get up early to go to the gym. Or I’ve vowed to quit eating junk, and yet I have Del Taco for lunch and Cafe Rio for dinner. Or maybe I’ve even been a slob at work, and the way I feel better is by following my laziness up with an evening of watching VH1.

Those are the days I’ll never be thin enough, never be funny enough, clever enough, creative enough, smart enough. So I say, “Why bother?!” And make it even worse.

Then, every now and then, there are days when I say, “Alison you are so fab!” And to quote my friend Arin Keyser, Harvard Grad, those are the days when I scream, “I could just kiss myself!”

Today is a “kiss myself” day and I didn’t even get up and go to the gym. (It was Eric’s turn to wake us up anyway!) I’m gonna go to Yoga tonight though. HOLD ME TO IT.

Anyway…why am I so in love with myself?

Because I just made an awesome, AWESOME, list of tag lines for my mother in law’s quilting guild. Yes, Mrs. Debbie Robertson is soon to be President of the Utah Quilting Guild and she was hoping I could “use my creative mind” to help her come up with a slogan the guild could put on a personal license plate frame. So it would say…

“Something witty and concise” on top

then

“Utah Quilting Guild” on bottom

I don’t know if she can use any of them. But my coworker and I had such an awesome time scouring Quilting Websites and coming up with these…I don’t even care. Puns make me so happy I start panting. It’s sick.

So without further ado…

The could be future slogan of the Utah Quilting Guild. Vote on your favorite, or please, by all means contribute your own. They are still taking suggestions!

– We get snippy.

– We’re Material Girls.

– Watch out, I cut corners!

– I’m a piecemaker.

– Quilt til you Wilt!

– Honk if you’ve gotta stash.

– I’d rather be driving a Bernina.

– We’ve got nice threads.

– I like my quarters fat.

– I’d rather be quilting.

– Not as sweet as I seam.

I know. It’s hard to imagine how coming up with a list like that could make me want to kiss myself. But you know, we all deserve “kiss myself” days, and I don’t think we give them to ourselves nearly enough. We are all so freaking hard on ourselves, and push and push. So, before I get all didactic (too late) I’ll just request this:

Try to make at least one day this week, a “kiss yourself” day. Even if you don’t write about it on a blog for the world to see.

I love you all. Now go love yourself and…

Quilt your face off.

With love,

Alison

18 Comments

  1. Roberston

    I’m throwing in my vote for “Watch out, i cut corners.” It’s so funny because this will be on my mom’s license plate and i will remember all the lectures i got about not cutting corners while dusting and cleaning my room. etc…

  2. jenny

    you should kiss yourself for those! amazing! my personal favorites are…

    watch out, i cut corners
    not as sweet as i seam
    i’ve got nice threads
    we’re material girls

  3. shelly

    These are the most clever little witticisms(sp?) I’ve ever heard! I laughed out loud at each and every one! If your mother-in-law didn’t adore you before, she definitely will now!

  4. me

    I’d rather be driving a Bernina.

    me too, me too.

  5. Aubrey Olivia

    Here’s my favorite my mom shared with me once, “quilters do it on every corner”

  6. Alex

    1) Watch out, I cut corners!
    (bc it IS for a license plate)

    2) I’m a piecemaker
    (because it’s Utah)

    3) Not as sweet as I seam.

    kiss kiss,
    alex

  7. chris almond

    I like the piecemaker one. Because I like peace makers. Everyday I feel like kissing myself.

  8. Jenny

    Quilt till you wilt is my vote. I’m one of Andrea’s friends from Carthage, and I appreciate your blog and the pics of the wedding since I couldn’t go!

  9. naomi

    “I’d rather be driving a Bernina”
    and “we’re material girls” were by far my favourites

  10. JenErik

    Quilt your face off is my favorite. 🙂 Actually you’re my favorite. Thanks for the pep talk – sometimes moms need to be told how AWESOME they are. You’ve made my day

  11. The Daily Kirk

    Cougars don’t cut corners but quilters do.

  12. amorology

    These are all so good! How do you choose. I think I love ” not as sweet as I seam” the mostest. 🙂

  13. Forest Anthony

    I read your latest contribution to Square Magazine while eating at Del Taco tonight. I was going to insist you were no longer funny, then I read about this “kissing yourself” business and have decided for sanity’s sake YOU ARE FUNNY.

  14. Alison

    Forest. Whether or not I’M FUNNY has never been the question. I simply asked WHICH AWESOME quilting quip you liked best. Silly Forest.

  15. fraggLe+monkEy+shysteR

    oh alison! you should kiss yourself everyday because you are just that spectacular. and i love the one about driving the bernina- my mom would really appreciate that one. oh! annnnd- your square article was funny. i wonder if all of us san diego girls don
    t have a similar experience. i cried too…

  16. jenny

    Not as sweet as I seam. BEst one.

  17. Nate Housley

    we get snippy

  18. Arin

    SO proud to be quoted in your blog. BUT- I sound like a bit of a jerk saying “I want to kiss myself” …presumably because I got into Harvard and am a liberal elitist?

    Now that I got that off my chest, my vote is for “not as sweet as i seam.” You are the best!

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