She’s Making it Happen

Like any working wife, I’m trying to make it all happen. The glamorous office job where I sit glumly in a cubicle, the perfect home filled with anthropomorphic creatures and piles of dirty laundry that I really should do because Eric does the laundry 95% of the time, and of course freshly prepared home cooked meals after a long hard day in my pantyhose and heels.

I wear neither pantyhose nor heels, and I make dinner about once a week. Maybe twice. But I mean, a girl tries. Moving on, in my effort to be the perfect wife, worker, and contributer to society, I did some grocery shopping over lunch today because I want to take dinner to this pregnant girl I’m friends with, because it looks like, at any moment, the baby might tae-bo kick, a la Billy Blanks, its way out of her tummy and into the world.

So I was strolling through the ghetto Albertson’s by my apartment talking to my mom and drinking my Diet Dr. Pepper, throwing items into my cart, and trying to remember everything I needed for this really amazing pasta that I love and Eric is afraid of because he has a serious problem with cilantro.

After loading a concerning amount of carbs into the cart, I thought a little citrus was in order and, my don’t those oranges look delicious. I threw about 6 of them in a bag and then proceeded to check out. But like I said, I was distracted.

I thought the total seemed a little high, but I figured I must have just miscalculated in my head. After taking my groceries to the car I checked my receipt. Usually I feel like I get a better deal at Albertson’s with my preferred savings card than I do at Smith’s. But not today my friends, not today.

Why was my total almost $30 instead of $20????

THOSE DAMN ORANGES. 9 bucks! 9 dollars, for like 5 or 6 oranges.

I was outraged, and shocked.

I don’t care about getting my vitamin C that much. Bring on the scurvy.

But I’m not going to take them back and hoot and holler, because then I would hate myself even more than I do for blogging about expensive produce.

And I wonder why I’ll sometimes get random “Mommy Blogger” ads from google.

I’m gonna go eat one of my million dollar oranges.


  1. chris almond

    I pretty much love oranges. today was my first day of class for the new school year and i kept seeing this guy who looks just like your husband. i probably saw him 4 times. maybe i will take a picture of him and show you. he had a beard which is different than your husband. hubcap.

  2. Fish Nat!on

    i have completely given up on fruit, due the the dive bombing economy and the desire for a quick, scurvish demise, rather than dwindling away in poverty

  3. crystal

    SUPERSTAR reason #5- Alison’s indulgences are not normal like icecream or candy bars. Her indulgences are fruit. Superstars are always health concious and make the rest of us icecream eating fatties feel like just that, fatties.

    It’s ok though, I have the same love for peaches.

  4. Kristin

    One time I was checking out at Smith’s and saw on the check-out lady’s screen that my APPLES were $1 each. ONE DOLLAR FOR EACH APPLE! Oranges are at least a little more exciting piece of fruit. In the Little House on the Prairie books the girls used to get oranges in their stockings for Christmas, and then dozens of years later Laura wrote about how tangy and juicy and delicious they were and how they had to carefully divide the slices amongst themselves and savor every bite. Laura would have paid $9.

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