She’s a SUPERSTAR reason #3

I wasn’t kidding about posting a new reason everyday. Did you think I was kidding? Did you hope I was kidding? Well, I wasn’t. I do not kid.

And so, without further ado, I give you…

Why Alison Faulkner should be a SUPERSTAR reason #3:

I sign my name SUPER fast.

I mean like really really fast.

I don’t even really sign my name. It’s more like a big “A” and a big “F” with some straight lines that follow.

My signature actually would be really easy to forge. Please don’t forge my signature.

But no matter, I would be really fast and really efficient at signing autographs for my numerous fans.

People would run up to me, clutching a glossy 8 x 10 glamor shot, in which I would be smiling what would become my signature “Alison smile!”

And I would be able to fend them off by the hundreds, giving them the “Alison smile” in the flesh while quickly scribbling my name.

It would be awesome.

And then I’d get in my car and drive away to my awesome house full of really expensive rugs, that wouldn’t be expensive for me because I am a superstar, but are right now way beyond my price range. And my feet wouldn’t be dirty when I walked around the house barefoot because I’d have lots of rugs. And I would lounge in my designer chaise lounge, and stare at my amazing wall paper patterned walls. Because in my superstar home I don’t have to keep the walls white or not put up wallpaper. Then I would ruffle the cute head of my boston terrier named, “Puppy Face.” Because in my superstar home I’m also allowed to have pets.

And all of this would be my reality because I would be so good at keeping my fans happy because I am so lightning fast at signing my name.


A———- F———-‘


  1. Tim and Sara

    Haha, I didn’t know you liked dogs? To me you are already a superstar.

  2. me

    I thought you had a new last name…

  3. Alison

    dear me,

    when stars get married they keep their original last name as not to confuse their fans.

    I am legally, Alison Faulkner.


    Alison Faulkner

  4. Krista

    funny!! matt used to practice signing his name when he was little. he got a huge kick out of it when the kids would come around the pits after his race and want his autograph! he wants to be a superstar too 🙂 what’s up with you “faulkners”???? i guess i’m one now too, but i wasn’t born one…

  5. just*don't*think*about*it

    More thought provoking than you becoming a superstar is your ability to lure a 10 year old boy into believing that you are leading him to a meeting with soccer face. Was his mother around? Did you have to explain to him that you are not a child abducting perv before he so innocently followed you around the store?? Hum, this is perplexing to me Alison.

  6. Matt and Jennae Porter

    You’re going to be such a superstar that you can just go by “Alison”… forget Faulkner (even though it really should be Robertson by now, my dear). Like Madonna though, or Cher. BTW, I got to see your fun mom last week! I love her. So much.


    reason #4 Alison Faulkner should be a star: She is hhhoootttt!

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