I wasn’t kidding about posting a new reason everyday. Did you think I was kidding? Did you hope I was kidding? Well, I wasn’t. I do not kid.
And so, without further ado, I give you…
Why Alison Faulkner should be a SUPERSTAR reason #3:
I sign my name SUPER fast.
I mean like really really fast.
I don’t even really sign my name. It’s more like a big “A” and a big “F” with some straight lines that follow.
My signature actually would be really easy to forge. Please don’t forge my signature.
But no matter, I would be really fast and really efficient at signing autographs for my numerous fans.
People would run up to me, clutching a glossy 8 x 10 glamor shot, in which I would be smiling what would become my signature “Alison smile!”
And I would be able to fend them off by the hundreds, giving them the “Alison smile” in the flesh while quickly scribbling my name.
It would be awesome.
And then I’d get in my car and drive away to my awesome house full of really expensive rugs, that wouldn’t be expensive for me because I am a superstar, but are right now way beyond my price range. And my feet wouldn’t be dirty when I walked around the house barefoot because I’d have lots of rugs. And I would lounge in my designer chaise lounge, and stare at my amazing wall paper patterned walls. Because in my superstar home I don’t have to keep the walls white or not put up wallpaper. Then I would ruffle the cute head of my boston terrier named, “Puppy Face.” Because in my superstar home I’m also allowed to have pets.
And all of this would be my reality because I would be so good at keeping my fans happy because I am so lightning fast at signing my name.