She’s got the whole world in her backpocket

As a general rule I don’t follow current events, politics, or celebrity news. I like to live in a self-obsessed bubble where the only reality is the one I create…with my blog. It’s wonderful.

But…I married a politics loving news-starved man, who checks as many political blogs (SNORE) as I do crafty design blogs (CHEER!). And occasionally I cannot avoid the little tidbits of news he throws my way. This morning as I was heading out the door, my media addicted husband-glued to the small screen on his iPhone-yelled from the bedroom,

“The economy is up 3.3 percent!”

And I thought, “That’s funny, so is my ass.”

Now, don’t get me wrong, I care about the economy. I work in advertising, if the economy is down people cut marketing budgets and ultimately cut my job…I totally care. But, I’ll admit, I might, just maybe, care about the size of my butt more. Is that wrong? Anyway, I thought it was pretty cool the size of my backside could perhaps predict the GDP.

Interest now piqued by a direct correlation to my life, I read the news article once I got to work. Turns out the 3.3 percent increase happened in the Spring quarter…SAME AS MY BUTT.

“The Commerce Department reported Thursday that gross domestic product, or GDP, increased at a 3.3 percent annual rate in the April-June quarter. The revised reading was much better than the government’s initial estimate of a 1.9 percent pace and exceeded economists’ expectations for a 2.7 percent growth rate.”

Maybe I helped the economy by eating at Cafe Rio more? I know that contributed to the OTHER recent increase. Maybe I helped the economy by having to buy new jeans because I was eating at Cafe Rio more? Probably. No one can really tell for sure.

All we know is, Obama yo mama and McCain yucky cheeks, are both missing out on a very valuable secret weapon.

So I WAS thinking about trying to shed those much dreaded, “I was really skinny before my wedding then I got married and ate donuts” pounds…but now that I know I have such a direct effect on the free world, I might think twice about going to bed hungry.

Anyway, thanks for reading my blog. I love you. And so do your elected officials. Don’t forget to vote.

xoxo

Your ba-donk-a-donk GDP predictor

10 Comments

  1. Matt and Jennae Porter

    Thanks for the good laugh today. If only my backside had shrunk as much as our investment portfolio has lately… =)

  2. Cindy

    I’m trying to be more politically aware and even bought a book about it. It helps me sleep at night. I think your hiney looks great!

  3. fraggLe+monkEy+shysteR

    how are you so funny?! and don’t worry- the best of us gain those happy marraige pounds. it’s a good thing.

  4. kimmy girl

    laughing out loud. reading outloud to roommates. really good work missy…you put the rest of us to shame!

  5. Andy J

    This is the first of your blogs I’ve read (Linked from Tammy’s), and it’s prrrrrrretty good. =)

    Keep up the good work! And keep eating at Cafe Rio for god sake!

    -Andy J
    (Your long lost Prom King)

  6. just*don't*think*about*it

    Yes, I was just wondering if you have noticed any part of your anatomy that might correspond to precious metals. I’m thinking about buying some silver. Any advice?
    Thank you kindly.

  7. Fish Nat!on

    I’d like to think there is a correlation between most things concerning our government and fat asses

  8. Patricia

    my philo. is more of you to love the better. eat an extra tortilla. do it for me.

  9. JenErik

    How do I love you, let me count the ways- 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, etc etc etc. Ali, you’re hilarious.
    -Jenny

  10. marshall p

    you are the cutest girl. ever. I’m pretty sure you are “seriously, so blessed.” are you interested in being in a sewing club?

Leave Some Love

Your email address will not be published.




You Might Also Like


Super Duper Fly Dance Off!

WHOOOOOAAAA! IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HAVE WRITTEN A BLOG POST I almost didn’t know if I could remember how!!! HA! But, I did, and I’m so glad, because I AM NOT kidding you it feels so damn good to be abusing ALL CAPS AGAIN! You know what also feels really really good? …


Build an Awesome Brand Workshop!

Hi! I’m Alison. Over the past 10 years building my business I’ve put my name in lights, danced with thousands of hot babes who believe in their own awesomeness, spoken at huge events, worked with fortune 500 companies, created six-digit yielding courses, hosted nationally recognized online dance contests, started the podcast of my dreams, and basically …


Alison’s State of Affairs April

Reflecting on the source of my strength: my bling. HAHA. But actually just ask Laura, the photographer, what mood I was in. Because it is more accurately reflected below. Well hello!!! Another month has come and gone, and so now it’s time for ALISON’S STATE OF AFFAIRS! Yes,  yes, I know I’m sharing a lot with …


Don't Miss a Podcast!

You're busy and we want to make listening to the podcast EASY. Sign up below to stay up to date!