She Freaks Nasty Once, She Freaks Nasty Twice

You might not know it by looking at me, but this little white girl loves her some dirrrty R&B. Well, I don’t know if you would classify it as dirty rap or dirty R&B, I love both, maybe it’s more like poppy rap/ R&B with slightly questionable lyrics about big butts and riding the pony. BUT I LOVE IT. Can’t get enough. R. Kelly, Usher, LL Cool J, Paperboy, Ginuwine…Oh I’m getting giddy.

I think it might be cause I like freak dancing so much. SO MUCH. I’ve stopped fighting it. I’m not ashamed.

At all the church dances growing up (yes I LOVED CHURCH DANCES) Andrea was constantly halting her groove mid-song to give me a disappointed look and say, “Alison, come on, really?”

YES LITTLE SISTER, REALLY.

I didn’t like freak dancing with boys, ew no. (Though I do like freak dancing with Eric, muhaha). I was afraid of boys until I was 17 (that’s a total lie). I just really felt like I had a God-given talent for moving my hips. And who was I to waste such a gift? Not many people can perfectly mimic the hip thrusts from Garth’s performance of “Foxy Lady.”

Actually, it was probably my only form of rebellion growing up and that’s why I loved it. I didn’t drink, I didn’t smoke, and gosh darn it, I only kissed, but I KNEW HOW TO PUT MY THING DOWN FLIP IT AND REVERSE IT.

A week after Eric and I were engaged we were at a dance party, I believe it was one of the world famous Slow Dance Parties that we used to throw in Provo (and another one will be thrown Aug. 9). We started playing some sexy slow jams, and I couldn’t help it, I started getting down with my bad self. I got my freak on ya’ll. And in between my heartfelt commands to, “get’cha, get’cha, get’cha, get’cha, get’cha freak on!” Eric’s jaw dropped in what was probably horror but what I like to think was amazement. After a while he said, “I wasn’t aware you knew how to dance like that.” Very matter-of-factly. So I hip thrusted his behind outta my way and continued on without him.

Anyway, this morning on my run some especially great songs came on, and I was reminded of how much I love to shake what my mama gave me. Sometimes if I’m feeling particularly frisky and fresh on my run, I do a few moves for the cars around me while I wait at the crosswalk. Just one way I like to give back.

I have no real point to this post, other than, I hope you have freak nasty weekend, and that when your mind is telling you no, but your body is telling you yes…you know there’s nothin’ wrong with a little bump n grind.

10 Comments

  1. Ginny Huo

    Alison…um can i tell that i love you and love reading your blog because it is so entertaining! You are so funny! I just adore you to pieces. How is your new married life? Miss you! xoxo

  2. naomi

    There was a McDonalds billboard on 7th east back in 2005 that went something like “I dip, you dip”.As I walked past that sign on a daily basis, I inevitably started each day with a health dose of Freak Nasty. And by Healthy dose, I mean Freak Nasty/McDonalds healthy.

  3. jenny

    i have personally seen some of these moves and agree they should not be hidden. i love the way you wrote this post and i so so wish i could drive down the street sometime and see you stop mid-run for a little dance sesh. i have been guilty of the same thing once or twice but i am lacking your skills so the cars probably thought i was running from a bee or something.

  4. Matt and Jennae Porter

    Oh my gosh this post totally had me cracking up. I miss your sexy church dance moves, and I definitely wouldn’t complain if your next blog post included a little video sampling of them for us all to watch!!!

  5. fraggLe+monkEy+shysteR

    amen sister.

  6. I'm Natalie.

    ha HA!

  7. Heather

    One of the best posts EVER written….right here!

  8. Rachel Eastin

    I. Really. Hate. MUMMIES!!!!!

  9. ashley

    I know everyone has moved on, but I just read this post and thought immediately of our roommate in Guate… can’t remember her name when we hit up the clubs in Antigua: “you guys are Mormon, how did you learn to dance like that”– something to that effect. I’m sure she was talking about those hips of yours, because she wasn’t the only one who noticed them there at that club!

  10. Katie

    Dude, AMEN.

    I think I shocked my husband (then boyfriend) when I whipped out my moves at a wedding. We’d only been dating 2 months and his chin hit the floor.

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