She Makes…She Makes Friends

Sometimes when you get married people forget that you are still, in fact, a normal human being who needs…what normal human beings need.


Just because you get married and have a sexy little husband who dotes on you and tells you that you’re pretty everyday, it doesn’t mean you don’t need friends to call you and tell you that you are pretty everyday too! And they don’t even have to tell me I’m pretty, they could just call and say, “Hi, I care that you exist…and I bet you look great in your jeans even if your butt is a tinch (read: A WHOLE LOT) bigger.” That would work too.

I know I’m needy, I need. I need. Give give! Love love!

However, no one likes a whiner. No one likes the friend that stomps around saying, “Why don’t you like me! Why don’t you call me!????” Who wants to be friends with a guilt trip? NO ONE. (Yes. I realize this post itself is a guilt trip. I’m a paradox, watch me blow your mind!) I learned this lesson in fifth grade when Shannon Collins, bless her heart, sat next to me on the bus and for the duration of the ride to school said, “WHY DON’T YOU CALL ME, DO YOU LIKE ME? DO YOU LIKE ME?” And I wanted to say, “NOT ANYMORE!”

So, sometimes in life you have to take matters into your own hands. And last Thursday, when Eric was gone yet again, I did.

And so, without further ado, and sans further guilt tripping, I’d like to present you with my NEW BEST FRIEND (other than my beautiful husband Eric)…


First I cut him out of felt.

Then, like any good friend would, I nailed him to the wall. So I’ll always know right where to find him. I like his hair.

I pet Sprinkles and talk to him when I walk past. He is very understanding and a really good listener. And if I keep the bathroom door open, I can talk to him while I’m in the shower. It’s really nice to have another man in the house when Eric is out of town.

If you want, you can make the REALLY REALLY long trip to SLC and say hi to Sprinkles and sometime. I mean, only if you want to. We might be busy, but I’ll see if we can fit you in.


  1. jenny

    i love your randomness.

  2. jenny

    You are hilarious. Who makes a pony out of felt? I wish I was as cool as you.

  3. AOBrien

    I want a felt pony……

  4. crystal

    wait a minute… that doesn’t look like the half-dead little colt you find on your hike…. did you replace old sprinkles with a new sprinkles!? Oh well, at least this new sprinkles won’t die on you and you won’t have to worry about the flies.

    P.S. Guess what a bigger butt means… that’s right, NEW jeans! That is a win, win situation.

  5. amorology

    Everyone needs a friend this loyal. If only we could staple all of our friends to the wall! Ha. 🙂

  6. Jake and Jenna

    i am coming back to utah in exactly 28 days. i will find you. i will be your friend. i will love you unconditionally. will you be my friend, too?

  7. Shannon C.

    You forgot about the key ingredient: the glue gun!! I have to say that was definitely the most random neighborly phone call we’ve ever gotten. Seriously you are hilarious! Next project: owl for the Cornelius family.

    (ps, glad you opted for the lower location of the pony…)

  8. shelly

    I could read you all day…not that many people can make me actually laugh out loud when I’m alone!

  9. emilyhutchison

    I would love few things more than to see you and Sprinkles. We are basically neighbors and I want to hate myself for not taking more advantage of that.

  10. France is

    so, once upon a time i got to throw a shower ish through my mom vicariously ish for your sister whom i love from a distance and i had to find her future hubby’s last name (which i was able to do thanks to this blog and the wide variety of people who read it and are interested in your life aka my brother?) anyways, i would just like to congratulate you on your new real friend and voice my enviousness. if thats a word. also, i’d like to sympathize with you about the bigger butt, butt really- who are you kidding, thats just more to love and more cushion for the pushing which you are now capable of doing.

    we love you.
    and im n ot certain who the we is yet.

    butt i sure do.

  11. hanner

    Robbie and I are often just hanging out with ourselves. LET’S BE FRIENDS AGAIN, ROBERTSONS.

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