Sometimes when you get married people forget that you are still, in fact, a normal human being who needs…what normal human beings need.
Just because you get married and have a sexy little husband who dotes on you and tells you that you’re pretty everyday, it doesn’t mean you don’t need friends to call you and tell you that you are pretty everyday too! And they don’t even have to tell me I’m pretty, they could just call and say, “Hi, I care that you exist…and I bet you look great in your jeans even if your butt is a tinch (read: A WHOLE LOT) bigger.” That would work too.
I know I’m needy, I need. I need. Give give! Love love!
However, no one likes a whiner. No one likes the friend that stomps around saying, “Why don’t you like me! Why don’t you call me!????” Who wants to be friends with a guilt trip? NO ONE. (Yes. I realize this post itself is a guilt trip. I’m a paradox, watch me blow your mind!) I learned this lesson in fifth grade when Shannon Collins, bless her heart, sat next to me on the bus and for the duration of the ride to school said, “WHY DON’T YOU CALL ME, DO YOU LIKE ME? DO YOU LIKE ME?” And I wanted to say, “NOT ANYMORE!”
So, sometimes in life you have to take matters into your own hands. And last Thursday, when Eric was gone yet again, I did.
And so, without further ado, and sans further guilt tripping, I’d like to present you with my NEW BEST FRIEND (other than my beautiful husband Eric)…
SPRINKLES THE PONY.
I pet Sprinkles and talk to him when I walk past. He is very understanding and a really good listener. And if I keep the bathroom door open, I can talk to him while I’m in the shower. It’s really nice to have another man in the house when Eric is out of town.
If you want, you can make the REALLY REALLY long trip to SLC and say hi to Sprinkles and sometime. I mean, only if you want to. We might be busy, but I’ll see if we can fit you in.