I have red pants on today. Red pants make me want to dance. I wish I was at a dance party in the middle of a circle with people chanting, “Go Ali, Go Ali, Go Ali!” While I did all my best dance moves in my red pants.
It would be so cool. My dance moves would catch like wild fire and people would play the dance over and over again on youtube (obviously someone was taping the dance on their new iPhone) and it would be called, “The red pants dance.”
But now…now for the sad reality of this post.
I did some “wedding flowers” for a small 30 person wedding as a “favor” for some unfortunate bride over the weekend. And we all can take away some VERY valuable lessons from my VERY bad weekend:
1. Always ALWAYS hire a professional
2. NEVER NEVER spray paint gerber daisies no matter how sweet and convincing/adamant the bride is about NEEDING teal and lime flowers
3. Clearly label flowers, because sometimes it’s hard for other people to distinguish between the mother-of-the-groom’s corsage and the groom’s boutonniere, and the groom might end up wearing his mother’s corsage on accident, or on purpose?
4. Explicitly instruct the brother-of-the-groom on how to transport the already ugly flowers, without KILLING ALL OF THEM BEFORE THEY GET TO THE MUCH DISAPPOINTED BRIDE
5. DO take a nap Saturday afternoon, after staying up til 4 am finishing the HEINOUS flowers, because around 3 o’ clock, the slightly panicked bride WILL call to tell you, ALL THE FLOWERS ARE DEAD, and that’s one call you want to be asleep for
6. Just because you are doing “service” it doesn’t mean God will intervene and magically make everything okay
Don’t think, because I joke funny funny, that I didn’t feel TERRIBLE and cry for at least THREE HOURS. But, as Eric has pointed out numerous times, there is nothing I can do now and I really did do my best under the very limited/awful circumstances.
So, after this post to the world, let’s all forget it ever happened, and get back to the happier things, like the ever popular, RED PANTS DANCE.
HIT IT DJ.