She had a rough weekend, BUT She’s wearing red pants

I have red pants on today. Red pants make me want to dance. I wish I was at a dance party in the middle of a circle with people chanting, “Go Ali, Go Ali, Go Ali!” While I did all my best dance moves in my red pants.

It would be so cool. My dance moves would catch like wild fire and people would play the dance over and over again on youtube (obviously someone was taping the dance on their new iPhone) and it would be called, “The red pants dance.”

But now…now for the sad reality of this post.

I did some “wedding flowers” for a small 30 person wedding as a “favor” for some unfortunate bride over the weekend. And we all can take away some VERY valuable lessons from my VERY bad weekend:

1. Always ALWAYS hire a professional

2. NEVER NEVER spray paint gerber daisies no matter how sweet and convincing/adamant the bride is about NEEDING teal and lime flowers

3. Clearly label flowers, because sometimes it’s hard for other people to distinguish between the mother-of-the-groom’s corsage and the groom’s boutonniere, and the groom might end up wearing his mother’s corsage on accident, or on purpose?

4. Explicitly instruct the brother-of-the-groom on how to transport the already ugly flowers, without KILLING ALL OF THEM BEFORE THEY GET TO THE MUCH DISAPPOINTED BRIDE

5. DO take a nap Saturday afternoon, after staying up til 4 am finishing the HEINOUS flowers, because around 3 o’ clock, the slightly panicked bride WILL call to tell you, ALL THE FLOWERS ARE DEAD, and that’s one call you want to be asleep for

6. Just because you are doing “service” it doesn’t mean God will intervene and magically make everything okay

Don’t think, because I joke funny funny, that I didn’t feel TERRIBLE and cry for at least THREE HOURS. But, as Eric has pointed out numerous times, there is nothing I can do now and I really did do my best under the very limited/awful circumstances.

So, after this post to the world, let’s all forget it ever happened, and get back to the happier things, like the ever popular, RED PANTS DANCE.

HIT IT DJ.



16 Comments

  1. jenny

    I am SO glad you included pictures of the red pants. It made my day complete.

  2. AOBrien

    FYI, next time some desperate bride must have lime green and teal flowers… by water soluble dye and white gerber daisies. Cut the stems and soak them in the water over night. They will be colored and still alive in the morning. For next time 🙂

  3. darcie

    i suppose the next food network star didn’t make your weekend any better.

  4. fraggLe+monkEy+shysteR

    don’t we all need red pants in our closets?? i may run out and buy myself some RIGHT NOW.
    you are a beautiful soul alison! don’t let the flowers get you down…
    DANCE ON!

  5. Ems

    oh crap. I am doing the same thing this weekend and all the issues you mentioned are already giving me anxiety. so exciting!

    (it’s true though, you tried your best and now it’s done)

  6. Alison

    FYI Anna banana, the water based floral specific spray paint did not kill the flowers!!

    the transport in a hot car all squished into one bucket did!

    and i know i could have dyed them, but i was worried the color wouldn’t be right!

    AHHHHH. There’s nothing i can do about it now!

  7. Liz Canaan Roberts

    i just want to put you and your little red pants in my pocket and transport you to a world free of horrifyingly-colored daisies; where we can dance to our hearts’ content.

  8. AOBrien

    why are you such a color perfectionist? I guess things never change ahahahahaha

  9. Ems

    luckily, no spraying or dying is involved, just nice and normal. I just always get nervous about wedding flowers because IMPORTANT! and brides! and big day!

  10. marshall p

    you look like wonder woman.

  11. veronica

    I work at a flower shop and I do recall a bride coming in a couple weeks ago looking for lime green and teal floral spray paint. All I could think was that this was a disaster waiting to happen. I am so sorry.

  12. Matt and Jennae Porter

    You poor thing. I wouldn’t have the first clue how to make wedding flowers, so you’re still one step ahead of me!! I LOVE the red pants. So hot.

  13. jenny

    Those pants are amazing!

  14. Jake and Jenna

    screw the flowers and all the advice. go get yourself a diet coke super big gulp and wear your pants again tomorrow.

    i wish i had red pants.

  15. mr. loke stroke

    i remember seeing those red pants at wolmother (or some other red pants). as i recall people were chanting and in awe of your moves.you own the mosh pit ali. own it

  16. Jendar

    i have red pants too. and when i wear them i also feel like dancing. “go jendar! go jendar! go!”

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