She’s Shallow and She Likes It

Deep conversations in marriage are like land mines, you never know when one is gonna blow up in your face. Especially if you are married to me.

Say you are Eric, you are going about your usual business, running errands, working at your computer, happy as a bee, thinking about the new Beck album, when out of nowhere, and without warning, your crazy wife, who has been stewing on some crazy topic for a number of hours decides SHE NEEDS TO TALK ABOUT IT RIGHT THIS SECOND.

And not only talk about it, but solve it, fix it, worry about it, come to terms with it, and then feel resolved about it enough to write an instructional book about what to do should one find themselves in a similar situation.

These types of conversations always take place at inconvenient times and in totally inopportune locations. Such as our most recent one, which took place in Eric’s truck parked in front of Maverick on my 60-minute lunch break that had technically been over for 10 minutes.

I put on a fun show for the miscreant Maverick regulars, who were probably waiting for the FUN BUS to Wendover, with my dramatic monologue and bursts of tears.

Anyway, after I had solved the world’s problems, and was feeling a bit drained, Eric suggested I get a Diet Coke, which as you all know always makes me feel better, before he took me back to work. So I got out of the truck and walked by the men who had no doubt witnessed my hysterics. And as I tried to discreetly sneak by one man said,

“Wow girl! You are HOOOOTTTT!”

“Well thank you,” I said brightening up a bit, “You should tell my husband.”

And then I walked into Maverick with my head held a little taller. I filled up my 32oz cup with a giggle and a smile. I squirted in the cherry flavoring with extra pep, and paid the cashier with extra enthusiasm.

This old creepy man telling me I was HOTTTTT had actually made me feel better. When just 10 minutes before, nothing in the world could have consoled me.

I walked out of the Maverick ready to conquer the world, and started to saunter back to the car, then the same man stopped me again as I passed.

“Excuse me sweetie, can I ask you a favor?” He smiled at me, and even if he was creepy it was a fairly charming smile. “Do you have any money?”

I laughed, and then I set down my drink, got out my wallet and handed him a buck or two.

“God Bless, you really are hot.” Was his thanks.

I walked back to the truck and got in. Still smiling.

That compliment was totally worth the money.

So if you are looking to earn an extra few, you know what to do.

7 Comments

  1. AOBrien

    hmm I wonder is this would work in NYC?????

  2. fraggLe+monkEy+shysteR

    maybe you could send that old man my way.

  3. kimmy girl

    move to new york. no joke, it happens EVERY day. and everytime, it makes me smile.
    xoxo

  4. Shannon C.

    Totally worth it.

  5. Josh

    I find that midnight on a work night…after drifting off to sleep is the most common time for the “we gotta talk now” conversation. LOL…I love how honestly you capture these kinda moments. It’s cool you can kinda see the other side of what guys go through when these talks come up.

  6. Matt and Jennae Porter

    I’ve never felt so hot as the time I went down to Tijuana and every Mexican guy there whistles and calls me “Barbie” as I walk down the street. Now I fully realize it was just because they wanted me to come spend $10 on some crappy knock-off sunglasses, but it felt good. Darn good.

  7. The Daily Kirk

    I want to know what the crisis was. Were you upset about the government’s possible involvement in 911? Or perhaps at the number of children being raised in sub standard foster care? Quickly diminishing national resources or the slow strangulation of the American Middle Class? Were you sad about Ska going out of fashion or Guns and Roses next album never being released? Disease? Famine? The decline of Britney Spears and our shared culpability in said decline? WHAT?!?

Leave Some Love

Your email address will not be published.




You Might Also Like


Super Duper Fly Dance Off!

WHOOOOOAAAA! IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HAVE WRITTEN A BLOG POST I almost didn’t know if I could remember how!!! HA! But, I did, and I’m so glad, because I AM NOT kidding you it feels so damn good to be abusing ALL CAPS AGAIN! You know what also feels really really good? …


Build an Awesome Brand Workshop!

Hi! I’m Alison. Over the past 10 years building my business I’ve put my name in lights, danced with thousands of hot babes who believe in their own awesomeness, spoken at huge events, worked with fortune 500 companies, created six-digit yielding courses, hosted nationally recognized online dance contests, started the podcast of my dreams, and basically …


Alison’s State of Affairs April

Reflecting on the source of my strength: my bling. HAHA. But actually just ask Laura, the photographer, what mood I was in. Because it is more accurately reflected below. Well hello!!! Another month has come and gone, and so now it’s time for ALISON’S STATE OF AFFAIRS! Yes,  yes, I know I’m sharing a lot with …


Don't Miss a Podcast!

You're busy and we want to make listening to the podcast EASY. Sign up for Thought Nuggets and you'll get emails with quick synopses of episodes as they come out. Done is fun!