I love it so much.
It makes me so happy.
It’s part of who I am. I need it, I want it, I crave it.
I love Diet Cola.
I say “cola” not to be brand neutral, but I say cola because I love it all baby. Diet Dr. Pepper, Diet Coke, Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi. In fact the more names the better.
Diet Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper? Ohhhh, don’t be so cruel. Put it in my veins.
I think the fact that I have an addictive personality became blaringly apparent when I was 10 and my mom would have to extract me from the Nickelcade while I screamed, “Just one more dollar! Just one mooooooore!” I don’t half-ass anything—especially not my Diet drink intake.
I’ve been on the sauce since fourth grade man. That’s right, this tubby fourth grader liked to chase her Jenny Craig meals (true story) with a nice icy D.C. Wash down those fake blueberry pancakes and low-fat syrup with something nice and brown from the tap.
And mama likes herself a fountain drink. I don’t do cans unless it’s MY ONLY OPTION. I want ice, I want a straw, I want a plastic top with little label bubbles.
But don’t think that I haven’t tried to quit. I have. Oh, many times. When I started training for my first marathon I stopped drinking for quite a while, maybe 4 months. But the electric blue Jetta knows the route to Maverik too well. And somehow, I’d find myself in the parking lot of the nearest gas station involuntarily being pulled to the soda fountain—wallet in hand.
I’ve cut back at times too. (Again, usually when training) Only having one drink a week, or getting 20 oz. instead of the preferred 32 oz. But little by little, eventually the intake creeps back up again.
It’s not like I’m undisciplined. I run marathons. And I went Vegan people VEGAN. I lived without animal products! I ate soy everything and still I wanted to keep the cola. Save the planet! Save the chickens! Shun the addictive chemicals in cheese, but dear me, YES! thank you, I’ll take another refill on that Diet Pepsi.
No, I’m not lazy, I frankly just don’t REALLY want to quit, even though I know I should.
Everyone is always saying how bad it is for you. How you actually will gain weight drinking diet soda. And I kinda believed them. I’ve read a lot about it. But nothing that could convince me to stop. How can something that feels so right really be so wrong?
But today, this fateful day, I read an article with all sorts of facts I had never understood before. Maybe it’s old hat to you, but it was news to me. Read it and weep. Seriously, grab a tissue.
“The sweet flavor [of Diet drinks] elicits the release of insulin from the pancreas to enhance the uptake of sugar by the cells so that it doesn’t linger in the bloodstream. Once insulin is released it inhibits [YES THAT MEAN STOPS] your fat burning hormone called HSL (hormone sensitive lipase). This hormone is responsible for releasing fat into the bloodstream to be utilized as fuel. If inhibited, your body is unable to burn fat and will then begin utilizing amino acids (from muscle) and carbohydrates as fuel. This will leave you feeling tired, grumpy, and sloth-like toward the end of the day. Not to mention, you will become abnormally hungry [I AM STARVING RIGHT NOW!].”
Full life-ruining article here.
I realize the article is from eHealth. The Internet is full of lies anyway. Right!?
But you want to know what’s real sad. I read all that. And still, the first thing I want to do when the clock strikes 5:30 is head straight to Maverik across the street, say hello to the workers who always know my name (and are always glad I came) and refill that 32 ouncer sitting in the cup holder in my car. Know why?
CAUSE I DON’T WANT TO QUIT. So put that in your 108 oz. come-back cup and sip it.
So the conclusion of this extremely lengthy post? Life is all about priorities people. Gotta keep ‘em N check. Sure Diet Cola is linked to obesity. Sure it makes you eat more, and sugar substitutes will kill us all in the end. But my priority? My marriage. And Mr. Eric Shmeric doesn’t want a grumpy wumpy pop-craving wife, does he now? No! So if I have to run 10 extra marathons in my life to make up for it. SO BE IT! I’m getting a TCO (tall cool one).
I’ll catch you at the sev.