She Buzzes She Kills

I went to two! Yes, two bridal showers on Saturday. It is that time of year. And of course, going to a bridal shower as a married woman is a different experience than going as a carefree single gal.

At the second bridal shower I went to there were a slew of other married girls, and some felt it their duty to tell Noelle, the bride to be, “how it is.” To give it to her straight.

I’ve only been married, well not even two months, and I found myself thinking I had some sage advice too. But I tried, as well as I could, to bite my tongue. Because no one likes a know-it-all buzz kill, especially at a shower, where sex and love and marital bliss are supposed to giggled over and not rationally discussed.

But we all know that I am a KNOW-IT-ALL BUZZ KILL, and I did have one epiphany while Noelle was parading her panties about.

The epiphany: the biggest challenge in marriage.

Is it fidelity?

Privacy versus secrecy?

Learning to compromise?

Financial woes?

Religious differences?

No, no, no, no and no. I venture to say these are all merely manifestations of a more base challenge. Something far simpler and perhaps more important on an unconscious level. The real problem is one that separates the sexes, and prevents us from seeing eye to eye. It skews our paradigms and puts a wedge in our paths of logic.

So what IS this monkey wrench that screws so many marriages?

The fact that men are ALWAYS hot, and women are ALWAYS cold. And no, you pervs, I don’t mean sexually. I mean the freaking temperature.

I sat in staff meeting this morning with chills and shivers because the partners (ALL MEN) keep that damn room FREEZING cold.

Eric puts our R2 D2 looking cooling unit on 64. YES 64. He keeps the overhead fan on at night, keeps the windows open, and had to get a miniature fan for his bed side table that blows directly on his face.

In the car I’m always turning the air down, even when all vents are pointed at him, and in the winter he claimed that I made the car hotter than the Sahara.

I know their body temps are higher or something. And they have more muscle, and blah blah blah. But seriously, this temperature difference is a real problem.

Yesterday he said he couldn’t wait until they invent a body suit that you wear under your clothes to keep you cool with like ice packs. I’m sure the Japanese already have a thriving prototype. But until we get em here in Utah, it’ll be August and I’ll be decked out in my footsie jammies and parka while serving lemonade should you happen to drop by on a mid summer’s eve.

2 Comments

  1. hanner

    That’s funny–Robbie is always cold, and I’m always hot. ALWAYS! I also have to sleep with my feet peeking out of the covers. We’re going to have to work on a compromise with that one.

  2. Matt and Jennae Porter

    Move to AZ… you can’t afford to keep the temp at 64 during the summer (nor would it be possible for your AC to even do this). 76 is as low as we go!!

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