She Feeds She Feeds

I have never before in my life felt like as much of a rat as I do today.

It’s the 15th of the month people. Which only means one thing. It’s PAY DAY. Chaka Khan!!

The feeder pellet just gave me a sugar shot, one more rush, yet another incentive for sitting in a cubicle, day after day, hour after hour. Just when I thought I would never return again, they’ve sucked me back in. To write things like:

“It’s Comcastic!”

“Real Salt Lake, Committed, to the Core!”

and most recently…

“The Super Colon is an exhibit of the Prevent Cancer Foundation.”

(a little radio spot I’m working on. It’s AWESOME. Actually the best. Stay tuned.)

But seriously. Things get bleak, options look dim, and then pay day falls upon us like a shining light. A beacon of hope in a dark world of bills and really cute area rugs that I will never be able to afford. DAMN YOU stop posting roundups of the cutest rugs right when I need a rug and it’s just not in the budget. Don’t you know what you’re doing to me?

Pay day is crazy. It is way different than part-time work pay day. Full time work pay days are the real deal. THIS IS IT! THIS IS ALL OF IT! I have to use this money to pay for everything. EVERYTHING. It’s nuts! The paycheck represents what I spend all of my day working towards. I mean, one would hope a sense of fulfillment, general good will and the bettering to society would be part of the incentive as well…but my post-adolescent idealistic dreams were squashed when I started interviewing.

When that pay day check (which, as we all know, is never as large as we THINK it should be) is sitting as a lump sum in my bank account I feel powerful, strong. Ready to purchase anything. Save the world…in really sexy shoes…which are, no doubt, a necessity when saving the world.

But then I like, have to pay rent, and pay like bills. There’s the roof on the house we don’t live in, and that one car that needs to go away, they require money. And a bunch of other crap. And then the paycheck is slowly dissipated by life.

But for at least an day, if not an hour. I am on top. I am rich. I am free to travel to Egypt or buy myself a secret garden that grows twinkies and feeds starving babies.

Ah, life.

I might buy a rug anyway.

Don’t tell Eric.


  1. Eddie and Breanne King

    Oh I do love those rugs…buy one! You ARE rich! Compared to my $7 a hour. Maybe I’ll save up and buy a rug too…it might just take me a teensy weensy bit longer. And Eddie wonders why I am in such a rush to graduate and have a real job. I’m a little too vain and gready.

  2. Kristin

    I like you so much Alison Faulkner. I mean Alison followed by New Last Name.

    This is Kristin Owens, btw. I read your blog kind of religiously lately.

    I’m jealous of your full-time job.

  3. Alison

    do not be! revel in your freedom! Love you baby!

  4. Sharon

    It’s been a lot of years since my work has been validated by a pay check, a real one with money and everything! Get the rug, have fun! Trust me!

  5. Amanda

    You know what’s almost just as nice as payday? Receiving a $1,200stimulus check from the government in my bank account the day after payday… it’s like DOUBLE payday! Totally made my day today. So sad to be so greedy.

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