Hi. It’s me Alison. Hello. Hi.

My friend Adrienne started an ETSY shop called Phylum Kingdom.

If you said, “What is ETSY!” Then I would say, “Etsy is an online community where people from all over the world can set up individual online shops to sell vintage and handmade goods. It’s awesome. You should totally look at it.”

I want to tell you about Adrienne’s shop (she sells jewelery) because it looks really good, and I think she deserves for people to go and look at it. And occasionally a couple people read my blog, so I figured, hey, I’ll do what I can. I’m so freaking nice.

Let me tell you about Adrienne.

She’s a copywriter too. A really, really good one. Whenever you read her stuff you’re like, HOW DID YOU THINK OF THAT? and then WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT? Then you think, YO ADRIENNE!!!! And then she’s like, “Oh, I’ve never heard that one.”

Adrienne is a total and complete CAH. Which is why her ETSY shop is so cool. I’ve been meaning to start an ETSY shop for a long time. My shop name is Sprinkles the Pony. (DUH!) But there is nothing in it. But Adrienne has lots of pretty things in her shop.

And Adrienne, because she is a CAH, named her shop Phylum Kingdom. So hip. And the pieces all fit within this concept. It’s really beautiful and smart. The earrings are cased in a mock entomology display, and given Linnaean classification identification, so you can know the genus and species of the item you wear. Even if you are not in the market for buying jewelery, (which at Christmas time everyone is!) her display pictures are way fun and include lots of taxidermy. Which is always a treat.

Ok. So I work in Advertising sue me. But know, that if you do something cool, I’ll be the first to toot your horn.

LOVE YOUR GUTS.

xoxo

Alison

Oh! How my blogging has slipped. I think I’ve pretty much slipped everywhere.

But why! YOU SCREAM. Alison, why!?! Do you not hold yourself to as a high of standard as you use to? Or perhaps you are ill! Oh no! Maybe pirates have commandeered your blog? Or perhaps 4 jewel thieves in a heist (3 dressed as women) stole 108 million dollars worth of jewelry from you in broad daylight!

No, no dear friends. My life slippage has nothing to do with any of that. It can be blamed on two things. I have been suspiciously busy at work, #1, and #2, in the last few days I have made the ultimate “Jackrifice.”

What’s a Jackrifice? Thank you for asking. It means I have given myself whole heartedly to the one, the only, Jack Bauer.

I hold hostages in my dreams, picture gunfights while stopped at red lights. Jack Bauer and his CTU comrades have hijacked my life.

I’m not sure how such a vital piece of life history slipped past the dating/engagement phase of our relationship, but I just found out, Eric, my one and only, has not seen any seasons, hark, not even one episode of the popular hit television series 24.

I looooooove 24. And so obviously, I had to introduce two of my favorite men. Jack and Eric. Thankfully in my single days I was quite the connoisseur of men with good taste, and my friend Tom Morrill hooked us up with all five seasons on DVD. (No, you can’t borrow them, they are his parents!)

Anyway, within 48 hours of obtaining the DVD’s, we watched the entire first season. And last night at midnight, as we moaned over the tragedy that occurs while the credits rolled on the last episode of Season 1, Eric started eagerly grabbing at Season 2.

I had to put the kaibosh on it. We had already watched two discs in a row. And that’s the problem. You don’t watch an episode of 24, you watch a “disc.” A disc has 4 episodes. And like Lay’s, you can’t have just one. You watch the first episode on the disc. It abruptly ends, much like the chapters in the Goosebumps books, and so you say, “Oh I guess we can watch one more! And THEN do the laundry. Just one more.” Then the second one ends and you say, “AHH! Ok! Just the next one!” And then the third one ends you and you say, “Oh what the hell! Let’s just finish the disc.” When the disc ends, it’s no doubt past midnight. The chances of you actually going to the gym in the morning are totally shot. And you say, “Screw it all. Give me a donut and put in the next freaking disc.” And so it continues until the only thing you have to talk about is whether you think Kim Bauer or Sherry Palmer is more annoying.

Season 6 is happening right now. Which is what spurred the “Do you love 24?!” Convo with Eric. I highly suggest you get in the know, and catch yourself up.

So I apologize in advance if I do not call, text, or write you back. I’m like really, really busy watching TV.

It’s just a jackrifice we’re all going to have to make right now.

beep beep beep. doot.

Alison

You know just because I’m a tad, and I mean a TAD bit dramatic, it doesn’t mean that people shouldn’t take me seriously.

I’m sharp, I’m with it, I know what’s going on. And even though I downplay things with this bubbly exterior, it doesn’t mean you should ignore what I say.

So when I waltzed into that dentist office, and joked, “Oh! Get the restraints!” It doesn’t mean that when I later politely ask for the happy gas, they can say, “Oh you! You! You jokester! You’re fine.”

No! The 17-year-old hygienist in her Hot Topic accessories should go get the damn gas because I asked for it. And the dentist, who lavishes me with flattery, shouldn’t try to trick me into thinking “Oh you’re tough! You can handle this!” Because after 25 years I know what I can handle. And you know what I can’t handle? THE DENTIST.

If they had just given me the gas in the first place I wouldn’t have had to embarrass myself by getting all worked up, seeing the needle, leaping out of the chair, and bursting into tears, while asking in a panic-stricken tone “Are you gonna do that now?”

I TOLD THEM I COULDN’T HANDLE IT! I know it’s my fault for working myself up, posting like a 100 blog posts about it, and then hyperventilating on the way over, but you know what? It’s just the way I am. I build everything up really big. Sometimes it’s good, and sometimes it’s bad. And when it’s bad thing to be worked up about, whoever is involved should just shut their mouths and hand me whatever legal or illegal substances they have handy.

So, after having the Doctor roll his eyes, and then ask for the nurse to bring in the gas, I was perfectly fine. Humiliated, but fine. Halfway through the fillings (I had two cavities, of course one on each side) the gas tank turned off. The nurse made a note of this to the Dentist.

Questionably young assistant: “The tanks are off, but you already did the shots. Do you want me to turn the gas back on?”

Doctor who can’t fathom what on earth I’m so worked up about: “Yeah, it’s just easier that way.”

Obviously, when I’m on the gas, I giggle up a storm and profusely apologize for being a baby. I tried to tell him, “I run marathons! I’m tough! I swear!” Be he didn’t believe me. He even asked me questioningly later, “You really run marathons?”

HELL YES. And you know what, just to prove how tough I am, I’m signing up for another one. And if you would like to prove how tough you are too, I invite you to join me.

The Salt Lake Marathon is on April 18th. It has greatly improved every year, and was even ranked as a Runner’s World top new marathon to try. The reason why this is perfect to sign up for right now, is because it is over 18 weeks away. Which means you can safely start an 18 week training program and get your butt in gear.

If this little wimp can do it, you can too.

So join me friends! In this 26.2 mile quest to prove to all those needle wielding, drill loving, white coat wearing bullies, that I DEMAND TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY.

To sign up for the marathon go here.

For a great beginner training program, visit this wrinkly old running guru here.

I LOVE YOU ALL.

xoxo

Zena Warrior Princess

Today is the day. I’m getting my cavities filled at 2pm. Eric has been instructed to come home with a present for me after work today, to reward me for being so brave. I think I might pass out.

Gobble gobble my little lovelies! And a Happy Thanksgiving Eve to you!

I’m thinking they are going to let us out (no I’m not in school, just a cubicle) a little early today, so I’m sitting at my desk chomping at the bit! Or biting at the chomp? Either way, GET ME OUTTA HERE!

I hope that you have a great day filled with rolls, rolls, and more rolls. Because let’s face it, I can take or leave me a turkey, but I sure do love my Thanksgiving carbs.

I’ve been thinking about it, and since it is THANKSgiving and all, and I really have been given so much, I wanted to share a few things I’m thankful for:

Bumble and Bumble Hair Care products- I mean, they really are just fantastic. They smell so good, and the packaging is great. And how many of us would die without their Surf Spray?! It makes your hair feel like you’ve spent a sunny day at the beach playing in sandy waves. Who can beat that?

Ling Ling’s Potstickers from Costco- Sure they make your whole house smell for days after you prepare them, but damn are they tasty. Plus that dipping sauce they come with is so good you can lap it out of a bowl like a dog. Ling Ling you make one hell of a gyoza. Domo arigato.

Proactiv- Yes you make my face so dry, but my skin is clear and I no longer feel like a 14-year-old boy at Comic Con. Bless you Jessica Simpson.

SewMamaSew.com- Only you know how truly addicted I am to craft blogs. Thank you for being there for me and providing me with free patterns, great fabrics, and the chance to win an awesome book in one of your many give aways. I’ve still got my fingers crossed.

Diet Dr. Pepper- You know why.

Kneader’s- For having the best French toast I’ve ever had in my life. I love you so much and miss not being close to you. My steadily tightening jeans don’t miss you, but my tummy and I surely do.

Love Communications- Sure I bitch and moan, but really, I like my job (don’t tell anyone!) I love my coworkers, and you’re always giving me stuff like free Jazz tickets, Bees tickets, Haunted House tickets, breakfast treats every Monday morning, and a pay check. All of which, I could not live without.

Heather Balliet of Amorology- Not only do you make wedding dreams come true, you yourself are a dream, Heather. You have done it again with yet another fabulous fiesta. Here are some pictures of my sister Andrea’s beautiful wedding.

Your mom- For giving birth to you. Say hi to her for me. Thanks for reading the blog love bugs (yes, you).

HAVE A HAPPY DAY LOVERS,

gobble kiss, gobble kiss,

Alison