In continuation of “Look what I found on the Internet!” I’d like to talk to you about Dooce.

Do you know who Dooce is?

She is like, the MOST popular blogger in the world. I’m not kidding. She has the world’s most popular blog. She got fired from her design job 7 years ago for blogging sassy things about her boss. I think she was one of the first people to get fired for a blog, and it was a HUGE deal, and it brought her a lot of fame.

(When you get fired for blogging it is actually called getting DOOCED. Try it in a sentence like, “Her bosses discovered how much Alison divulged on her blog, and she was quickly DOOCED.”)

And do you know where she lives? Salt Lake City. And do you know what she blogs about, NOTHING. Well nothing in the Seinfield sense. And do you know where she went to school? BYU. And do you know what color her hair is? BLONDE.

Doesn’t DOOCE sound like someone you know…

Blogs about her life…
Bitter blonde BYU grad…
Has lost her mind a couple of times…

And yet. Doocey Woosey supports her and her husband and he daughter with her blog.

Dooce’s real name is Heather B. Armstrong. Kirk (my oldest brother) told me about her blog a while ago and told me I should try to make money from my blog like her. It’s been like 3 years since he said that, and now she has like a book, and has been on the news. Everybody LOOOOVES DOOCE.

Am I jealous? No, no why would I be jealous? She just makes a living being her, which is what I’ve been trying to do since I was 12. People pay her to just exist and write about things in exactly the same way she would talk about them! No she does work very hard seriously. I can’t imagine the type of pressure you’d be under to post almost daily with like millions of readers! PANIC ATTACKS GALORE.

It’s weird. I’m strangely drawn to Dooce.com, almost daily. I tell myself I go there to figure out what it is about her site that so many people love. But while I’m there, I get sucked in. She is a really talented writer, and she is laugh out loud funny. I guess that’s all you need. But there is something more.

Anyway. Go DOOCE yourself today. Check her out. I think it’s really cool Heather Armstrong has done so much with her blog/website so PROPS TO DOOCE, even though I’m like totally jealous. And we all know that’s like so unattractive. Good thing I’m wearing my REALLY cute new headband today.

This must be “stupid things I found on the Internet” week! (much to Bob’s dismay) Because…look what I found!

Well actually I found it on my friend Jenny’s blog. Anyway it tells you how many people have your name. Legally I am still Alison Faulkner. Which is a good thing because as you can see, there are only 12 other Alison Faulkner’s in the U.S. Do you know how well that ups my googling chances!?

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 12 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

However if I enter Alison Robertson…

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 49 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

There are SUBSTANTIALLY more people with the Alison Robertson name. Yes, 49. I don’t know if I can be motivated to be #50!

If I want to make it big out there, I need to differentiate myself from all these other Alison’s. After all there are 76,042 people named Alison in the United States alone! And statistically it is the 622nd most popular name. Names similar to Alison are “Alice.”

I think it’s almost sad how well this site “How many of me?” plays to my egotism. A site with “me” in the title!?!?! LET ME AT IT! I mean I have a whole blog devoted to myself…no really, it’s devoted to you…but I still want more!

Speaking of wanting more, I want Eric! He is out of town again. But, even though he periodically deserts me, he is like, the nicest husband ever. He did all the dishes and laundry, and cleaned the house before he left. He folded all my laundry and put it in little piles. And he even folds my unmentionables!

Eric is also really nice to me when I get super upset when he is gone (even if it has only been 12 hours) and I call him back two minutes after we hang up to tell him ridiculous things like, “I forgot to tell you! I got a new headband at Walgreens!”

Why do you even read my blog! I am an absurd human. Lame websites and gushing about my husband? He is sooo cute though.

Here’s a picture of my new headband!

I won’t be so shallow tomorrow I promise!! Well, I might. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t love you! Kiss kiss love love. Go ahead and look up how many of “yous” there are for me to love.

xoxo

Alison Faulkner

Is it Friday yet?

Nothing like a three-day weekend to remind you how sweet life is free and wild without the confines of a job.

Isn’t that picture the best thing you have ever seen? My co-workers mother-in-law sent it to him as a forward. CHOICE.

I know a giant picture of a baby/forward is unlike sheblogs sheblogs… but hey, I’m a wild and crazy girl! You never know what I’ll do next!

So, my coworker, Nicole, who I loooove, (she’s from San Fran, us California girls have to stick together! Wink!) just announced that she is preggers! on Monday in staff meeting. Saweeet! I almost cried I was so excited. (And I cried last night when David Cook won, HE’S LIVING HIS DREAM! and the night before when he sang U2′s I still haven’t found what I’m looking for. IT WAS MOVING.)

Back to Nicole. Lately, and I think it’s because of the bun in her oven, Nicole’s back has been pretty sore. But she thinks it’s due to her chair at work. Regardless, a solution was needed.

So what did she do? She brought in a giant medicine ball to sit on instead of a chair. Yes, the balls you work out on at the gym. The woman is pregnant people, no one gets to question what she does. BRING ON THE BALLS. And apparently they had them at her old job in San Fransisco, la ti da, and they are good for your back and posture.

So now Nicole sits nicely on her giant ball every other day. And I AM SO JEALOUS.

Here is Nicole getting her work done while sitting like a mature adult on her ball.

Of course, I only lasted three days before caving to my obnoxious kid-sister-at-work tendencies, and I had to steal the ball while Nicole was in a meeting.

The following pictures prove why I’m not allowed to have a giant ball instead of a chair. Especially when listening to Girl Talk. (Please note I asked my BOSS to help me balance to take the following pictures.)

I really did tweak my back falling off that ball in the middle one.

Here is one of Lena showing us how to properly use the ball. She’s from England so she knows how to keep things proper. Hopefully she is going to start teaching Yoga at work!

Anyway, Eric’s birthday is June 9, so if you needed a gift idea, something for the whole family…think round.

So! The good news is! I HAVE ALL OF MY WEDDING PICTURES NOW! They will be posted on a Pictage site, so you can buy the images of yourself getting freak nasty for the exorbitant price of $12 for 4×6. Or something like that! They are damn good pictures though.

The bad news is, the site needed a few additions, so I have to wait to post the link! But it’s coming soon! I know, I’m a dirty tease.

But I love you, and I’d hate to end this with bad news, so just to be a doll, I’ll sweeten it up with some more good news! My wedding, thank you Heather Balliet, has been chosen to be featured in San Diego Style Weddings. Saweet. So guests, perhaps you will become immortalized in the bible for San Diego brides.

In non related wedding news, thanks for not caring that I was maybe gonna be too busy to post! I mean come on! Obviously I have my priorities straight as made apparent by today’s outstanding post.

Oh baby when she blogs, she blogs.