She’s no Gwyneth.

I’ve decided to start a list that I will update once a week. The idea for the list came to me a few days ago while I was at work.

As I have mentioned I work for BYUtv. And because it’s a television station they have all of BYU’s stations playing on these giant flat screens when you walk in the building. This sounds WAY more glamorous than it actually is. The building is a total yuck, and the work space is depressing at best. But they do have the silent flat screens up front.

One of BYU’s stations is KBYU Eleven, which is an affiliate of PBS. And on PBS they have that show with Gwyneth Paltrow and Mario Batali called “On the Road Again.” Weird combo I know. But they go around and eat good food in Spain.

Anyway, all of this is to explain how I got thinking about Gwyneth Paltrow and how classy and awesome she is. I mean SHE’S MARRIED TO CHRIS MARTIN. I’m not really into celeb gossip, shocking I know, but I do know that Gwyneth is never the center of a scandal and that she’s just one posh lady.

So as I postponed going back to my desk to write whatever it was that needed writing, I stared at a silent Gwyneth eating tapas in Spain, and tried to imagine what it would be like to be so composed. And then I started thinking of all the things I bet Gwyneth never does. Like how she was taking such tiny restrained bites of the tapas. Gwyneth never shovels food. She nibbles food.

Then I started to wonder how I could be more like Gwyneth.

This caused me to reflect on the 15 or so Hershey’s Kisses I had just gobbled crazily after finding a leftover holiday treat bag on my desk. “Gwyneth wouldn’t do that,” I thought.

AND THAT, dear friends, is how I got the idea for this list:

THINGS THAT I DO THAT I’M 95% SURE GWYNETH PALTROW DOESN’T DO

(Incidentally these are all things that happened last week)

#1. Compulsively shove month-old Hershey’s kisses into her mouth until there are none left in her treat bag, and then start foraging frantically through other people’s treat bags for more.

#2. Threaten a cub scout within in an inch of his life for accusing her of not playing the “throw a tennis ball and keep it moving game” correctly. (Yes, I am a den leader. God save the scouts)

#3. Stay up until 5 a.m. YES 5 a.m., watching Season One of America’s Next Top Model (because she stole it twice at a white elephant gift exchange) eating nachos with bruschetta because she’s out of salsa, and well, tomatoes are tomatoes, ON A WEEK NIGHT.

OK! That’s just the start of my list. Look forward to more in this series of:

THINGS THAT I DO THAT I’M 95% SURE GWYNETH PALTROW DOESN’T DO.

xoxo,

Not Gwyneth

p.s.

Thanks for all the love and support on the last post. I really am fine, like I said, over it in a minute. But it always helps when we rally together. Love you all!

She’s feeling the rain on her face.

Some days you’re just in a funk.

Let’s correct that. Some days, meaning about half of them, I’M in a funk. I can’t speak for you though, but I bet you’re familiar with such funks.

It’s not necessarily that I’m depressed. It’s more like I’m just unimpressed.

Unimpressed with myself, unimpressed with what I’m doing, unimpressed with my decision to eat the last piece of the amazing chiffon pumpkin pie I made in addition to the 2 baby cupcakes I was forced to take home to “Eric” after a bridal shower (that obviously never had the chance to meet Eric). Unimpressed with the tightness of my jeans after eating the aforementioned items. Unimpressed with the city and state I live in. And probably more disgusted than unimpressed with how often I actually deep clean my living space.

I think about what 12-year-old Alison thought 26-year-old Alison would be like, and like I said, it’s not that I get depressed, I’m just not impressed. And I try not to be ungrateful for all I have and all I’ve been given, including my AMAZING HUSBAND but even so, sometimes I underwhelm myself.

I don’t even know what it was that 12-year-old Alison expected. I just know she was extremely demanding, and she just expected more than this. And I know I’ve told you this before. Like I said, I’m a 50/50 girl.

When I get in these moods there is no point to anything. I might as well just eat Ling Ling’s pot stickers and watch whatever season of America’s Next Top Model I can find on rerun and call it quits.

But there is an upside to being as dramatic as I am prone to being. And that is this: just as easily as I slip into a funk, I can usually, just as easily pop right up out of it.

Eric has found, when it comes to me, that most of life’s major problems can be solved with a Diet Coke, and if things are REALLY horrible, a bad dance movie accompanied by a giant tub of popcorn with Sour Patch Kids sprinkled in it does the trick.

That or a cheesy motivational song.

So today, when I slipped into one of these funks in which I could not be more unimpressed with myself. I told myself I was not going to cry. NO CRYING, I said. CRYING IS FOR THE WEAK.

So to keep from crying I turned up the radio and headed to Makerik.

Thankfully Natasha Bedingfield had some inspirational words for me.
We had a conversation that went about like this:

Staring at the blank page before you (This blank page? The one in front of me?)
Open up the dirty window (Yes, I know it’s dirty)
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find (That’s really not the problem)

Reaching for something in the distance (but WHAT! WHAT IS IT NATASHA?)
So close you can almost taste it (I am kind of hungry)
Release your inhibitions (but my mom begged me not to)
Feel the rain on your skin (Oh I see)
No one else can feel it for you (It’s like a metaphor)
Only you can let it in (Only me…ONLY ME?)
No one else, no one else (not even Eric?)
Can speak the words on your lips (That’s right! I am special!)
Drench yourself in words unspoken (I have a unique voice!)
Live your life with arms wide open (I should stop thinking about myself…LOVE OTHERS!)
Today is where your book begins (I’m 26, not 106!)
The rest is still unwritten (You’ve got time to impress yourself yet!)

And just like that. Funk undone.

And so, just in case you’re having one of those days. Remember, that’s all it is. Just one of those days.

So go ahead. Soak up some of Natasha’s wisdom, and remember…

the rest is still unwritten.

xoxo,

The new president of the Natasha Bedingfield fan club

She has a job, which could get you free crap.

Did you know I work for BYUtv? I don’t really talk about it. But I do. Anyway, I do a lot of things there, mostly writing related, as that is what I am. A copywriter. But obviously my REAL goal is to have my own TV show. Just wait. I’ll get one.

Anyway, we are rebranding the station, and part of that includes getting people excited about the station. TO DO THAT! We are having a 12 days of Giveaways contest. And we haven’t advertised it that much, so you actually have a good chance of winning. Like today, we are giving away this:


And since not that many people know about it, I thought I’d do my duty as an employee and tell you to go to the website and enter to win. Seriously, all you have to do is like fill in your name. And they give away a new prize for 12 days. The last day is a flat screen TV.

Here’s the link!

12 DAYS OF GIVEAWAYS.

I love you all,

xoxo

Alison

She’s all about 2010, and harnessing the power of the sun.

Well hello!

How the hell were your holidays!?

Mine were filled with love and presents, snow and fun. So basically, they were perfect. Except for the excessive food part. And the snow part. But there was also a beach part. Beach AND snow. Bonus.

I got some exceptionally awesome presents this year. Because even though I’m married, 26, don’t make a Christmas list, and try not to get overly excited about receiving, I still manage to rake it in.

One present in particular that will be enjoyed for years to come is the one that Eric asked for, and I being his ever-loving wife, was lucky enough to receive as well!

Eric’s parents gave us a Sun Oven.

A WHAT?

Yes, a Sun Oven! An oven that can cook and bake things using nothing more than the energy of the sun!

It’s perfect for, you know, when the world ends, all the power is shut off, children are fighting each other in the street for scraps of moldy potatoes, you know fire and brimstone coming down from the sky! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes, human sacrifice. Dogs and cats living together. Mass hysteria!

And of course, camping.

I’m guessing we’ll use it mostly for camping.

However, in our almost two years of marriage I haven’t seen Eric bake one single thing, so I’m thinking that the Sun Oven, even though it was really Eric’s idea, will somehow fall more under my domain.

Even though I like to tease (Eric might say “criticize”) his conspiracy theory/preparedness tendencies, the Sun Oven is actually pretty cool.

The temperature outside doesn’t matter, it can be freezing cold, just as long as there’s sun, the Sun Oven will produce, moist, healthy, fabulous tasting food without wasting one precious joule of energy. If that’s how you measure energy. However you measure it, you won’t be wasting ANY!

The best part about the Sun Oven is the DVD that comes with it on how to use it. Where a 60-year-old hippie man teaches you to use the Sun Oven and how to love his dirty white beard all in one fell swoop.

Needless to say, as soon the weather is a little bit better, I will be inviting you all over to my home for a tasty meal cooked entirely using nothing more than the energy of the sun! It will be glorious. Not to mention uber-hip.

That’s just one of the many things you have to look forward to from me, Alison, in 2010. Because I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling like 2010 is going to be a really awesome year.

I’m not making any goals to get skinnier, or eat less candy, or achieve anything crazy. No, I’m just going to make goals that will make me more awesome. And that I can totally achieve. Like here’s a goal: bake something using the Sun Oven. This is a good goal because I know I can do it, and I know that it will make me more awesome. This is already way better than trying to run another marathon!

Other goals could be like, posting more on my blog. Or, I could even do, post LESS on my blog. This is a totally achievable goal. But will it make me more awesome? That’s the real question.

The verdict is still out on that. But I hope that 2010 is YOUR year too. I hope my policy for goal making rubs off on you, and you don’t stress about anything that won’t make you more awesome. Together we can all make this our year! Our year to be nice! Our year to say positive things! Our year to eat more candy! Our year to quit drinking caffeine then start drinking it again not because we NEED it, but because we LIKE it! Our year to buy less and make more. Our year to be super awesome. And most importantly, our year to harness the power of the sun.

God bless you all in your quest.

xoxo,

Alison

She’s not forgetting what Christmas is all about.

This photo is fabulous. It’s everything a nativity should be.

Well, the posts have been few and far between, which usually means one of two things

1. I’m horribly depressed

2. I’m terribly busy

Thankfully, the latter is the reason this season. I’ve been making myself crazy with Holiday projects and activities galore. But it doesn’t mean I don’t adore each and every one of you.

I’m super excited for Christmas (even though Eric ruined all his chances for good gifts by buying himself an incredibly expensive gym pass yesterday). And despite all my talk, I didn’t ever get those lights up before the snow attacked the earth, yes, much like killer tomatoes.

BUT! I did make some amazing decorations for the inside of the home, I’m so domestic I almost sicken myself, and I have made some yummy holiday treats.

Christmastime is so much fun!

Anyway, I hope you have a fantastic weekend filled with ugly sweater parties, wassail, and cookies galore.

xoxo

Alison

Keep it crafty, Keep it sassy.