Awesome with Alison Ep. 14: Do you go out when you should go in?

Awesome with Alison Ep. 14: Do you go out when you should go in?
April 10, 2017 Alison Faulkner

You’re gonna love this! When you need validation, comfort, strength, or support, do you go to OUTSIDE sources? We’re talking about why it’s better to look IN first, and sharing 5 ideas on how to do that. Prepare to get aware!

And if you’re a visual person like me, here are the 5’s I share in the episode:

5 S’s for coping with suckiness OR 5 S’s for going IN rather than going OUT

When you start to feel anxiety, sadness, anger, frustration, a sense of failure, instead of going OUT, and gossiping, or watching TV or texting others to vent and/or validate, first go IN and do these things! I swear on my life you’re gonna feel better in the long run. And we discuss each of these more in the podcast! 

  1. STOP and catch the feeling! Instead of letting it manifest itself as a blow up, harsh words, anxiety, or whatever your emotional habit is, STOP and watch it, observe it SEPARATE yourself from it.
  2. SOURCE it – where is this fear, or reaction really stemming from? What could your emotions really be about, rather than what you’re attributing them to? Don’t blame others, don’t judge yourself for whatever the feeling is stemming from, just SOURCE it.
  3. Sit with it – experience it. Sit in that negative feeling rather than hiding from it. I noticed I grab my phone when I feel uncomfortable, and I know this is to bury the feeling. But I find having the feeling is often not as bad as we think it is. It’s not FUN, but it’s better than it festering beneath the surface for weeks, months or years.
  4. Say it or write it – have a conversation with the feeling. Here’s the quote I shared on the podcast: “Dr. James Pennebaker, author of  Writing to Heal has seen improved immune function in participants of writing exercises. Stress often comes from emotional blockages, and overthinking hypotheticals. He explains, “When we translate an experience into language we essentially make the experience graspable.” And in doing so, you free yourself from mentally being tangled in traumas. Studies have also shown that the emotional release from journaling lowers anxiety, stress, and induces better sleep.” QUOTE SOURCE
  5. Surrender – Suffering is when our life expectations and life circumstances do not match up. You can ALWAYS change one, but rarely you can change both. The Buddah defines enlightenment as the absence of suffering. So, in order to be at peace with ourselves, we have to surrender our expectations or surrender TO our circumstances, depending on what you have control of. So decide if you can change your circumstance or expectations, then change what you can and surrender to what you can’t.

I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts on this, or if you try these, or have other ways of managing suckiness in your life! HAHA!


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Send us your questions:

I’m Still Standing by Elton John

Alison’s State of Affairs

Sharing is Caring: Marie Forleo; Website, and Podcast.

10 Surprising Benefits You’ll Get From Keeping a Journal, Huffington Post Article

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1 Comment

  1. Holly 11 months ago

    I think you should be a radio co-host! You’d be great. Can you do a podcast on how your Mormon (not sure if you are?) upbringing has helped shape you – how it’s led you to start your own business, how you make money (it’s really hard to tell, cookie sales?) – it seems like there are 100s of young, smart, and very competitive Utahians on Instagram sharing or selling products they’ve created, and building themselves and their families into a brand and I’m wondering where the drives comes from or is it this new culture of young vain Utah. Millennials with an obsession of being perfect, looking perfect that is emerging. (eg. brands such as Kailee Wright, Cara Loren, Mint Arrow, the BucketList family and more). Would love to hear your opinions on the state of the culture in Utah 🙂

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