I’m on your team: A Love Letter

I’m on your team: A Love Letter
November 4, 2015 Alison Faulkner

awesome-cookies-5

awesom-cookies-3

awesome-cookies-4

photos of my cookies by Nicole Hill 

You guys. IT HAS BEEN A CRAZY WEEK! Mostly crazy because my “Alison’s Tips for Managing a Rough Pregnancy” post got such an amazing response. Honestly, better than I could have ever hoped for.

Just to put this in perspective for you, it was one of the hardest posts I have ever written. It took at least 20 to 30 hours of writing and editing, plus experience gathered from 3 pregnancies. Ha. So like 6 years in the making? By the time I was done I didn’t even want to post it. I was drained and depressed. But I posted it because I started out writing it to be helpful, thinking it was something people might want or need to hear, and I figured I should see it through.

And I am so glad I did. The post has gotten more traffic and page views than anything I’ve posted online thus far in my 10 years of blogging. That’s cool in and of itself but this is the part that is way, way cooler: the response has been 100% positive, loving, and respectful.

When you put something like that out there, that’s SO personal and sensitive, you unfortunately HAVE to expect that some people are going to tear you down, or make negative remarks. I find that when I write or create something that is reaching new people, people who aren’t my usual readers–they don’t feel as much of an inclination to be nice to me. Ha! Sad but true.

Now, I don’t want to jinx it, and I know it’s only been a few days, but as I said, in that time I have received absolutely nothing but warmth, understanding and love. I’m just so, BOWLED over. I can’t think of any other way to say it.

And the feeling I have the most of is gratitude. Gratitude that so many people would share their experiences with me, comment on my thoughts, and that so many people respectfully acknowledged what I had to say and then THANKED me for saying it. There’s just nothing better.

I woke up at 4am or so the other night and wrote this essay. Interestingly enough I wrote it before I shared that post and this all happened. I was anxious about another situation, and I was trying to talk myself down. I wanted to share it because it’s SO applicable after a week like this. But I like that I wrote it before this positive experience, because if THIS isn’t a testament to good karma and the power of positive thinking I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS!

I’m sorry for making you read more. Only pictures next week I swear?

I AM ON YOUR TEAM

When you are creating anything new, or building something, or putting yourself out there time and time again, it’s easy to start to feel like people want you to fail.

There are discouragements, negative experiences, and harsh criticism aplenty. You’ll throw something into the wind, pouring your heart and soul into it, and it can seem like the wind just throws it back in your face. WHAM.

It can feel like no one appreciates what you’re doing, or for me what’s even worse is feeling like no one even cares. And it’s easy, SO EASY, to take those instances, lump them all together, and begin to think, “Everyone is ACTUALLY against me!” Or, “They are just waiting for me to do something stupid.” Or, “They’re happy if this doesn’t work out.”

But before I let myself whirl down that drain, I have to get real. And when I really think about it, I remember that I’ve been “putting myself out there” for over 9 years now. I’ve been creating and building “something” through article writing, blogging, speaking, teaching, creating goods to sell, and sharing my thoughts to the public in general for a long time. And here is the very real conclusion I’ve come to: people are on your team.

People want you to succeed.

Sure, I’ve created a lot of things that have technically failed, and sure, I’ve gotten my share of mean comments and feedback, and unfortunately I can probably assume people are saying and thinking things about me that I wouldn’t like. HAHA. But time and time again, when the storms pass—and more often than not those storms are of my own creation—the clouds part and I start to see that one ray of light. And when I let it, that light begins to pool and grow. And finally a place that was dark and lonely seems to be a new place, filled with so much brightness and love it’s humbling.

And I just wanted to share that, because I sincerely want you to know, I’m on your team. I want you to succeed. And I know that I’m not some crazy exception to the rule.

There are other people who want you to succeed as well. And maybe they aren’t the people you WISH wanted you to succeed, and maybe the people who SHOULD want you to succeed don’t. But that’s why I quoted myself, haha, and the epiphany I had one day that it’s wise to: “Invest In People Who Invest In You.”

investinpeoplewhoinvestinyou

I have to fight the feeling that people are hoping I fall on my face, because when I focus on that I’m ignoring all the people with hands outstretched, looking to pick me up if I fall.

I feel people’s support for me in the comments that they leave and I see it in the strangers who smile at me on the street. But mostly I feel the presence of my teammates—if you will—in all the people who are also striving every day to live a positive life. People, who like me, aren’t perfect, but are really, truly, trying so hard to do something good.

There are a lot of people like that, so there are a lot of people on our team.

Thanks for being here. Thanks for participating and throwing your hat in the arena. I wish you so much love.

And remember, if you’re feeling lonely, sad, or discouraged, you’ve at least got one very crazy lady on your side. And I sincerely want you to succeed.

Xo,

Alison

P.S.

If for SOME REASON you want to READ MORE?! I’ve got more! I’ve been here a friggin decade:

The Top 10 Things I Learned in 2014

That One Time My Husband Lost His Job While I Was Pregnant

Why Your Second Baby is More Fun Than Your First

Haters Gonna Hate (this is all the way from 2012!)

 

7 Comments

  1. Amanda 1 year ago

    You. Are. The. Best.

  2. Michelle Child 1 year ago

    Alison,

    My mom discovered you last Halloween while looking for a pumpkin craft (I have so many fabric pumpkins now!), thought you were super cute and kept watching your YouTube channel, leading to us following your Instagram and loving your success (rock on!!!). I read so many of your posts, including this weeks tips on having a rough pregnancy. And although I’ve never been pregnant, I absolutely crawl into that dark corner of anxiety, and self loathing, and I SO admire your bravery! I can’t explain how helpful it is to read someone talk so candidly about their hardship, in hopes that it will help someone else. You’re such a beautiful soul, thank you for lifting us up!

  3. Sarah M 1 year ago

    You are my freaking spirit guide right now. And guess what? I am kinda sorta seeing a therapist today because of you. In a good way. As in you did not make me need therapy (that’s my kid’s/husband/work/hormones/brain chemistry’s job). Reading these posts in the middle of the night has been just what I needed to survive. Thank you for putting yourself out there and letting me learn from your experiences. I’m pretending that we are BFFS now and this is a personal chat window.

    I want you to succeed. You are kicking some serious ass. If you do nothing else in your endeavors (and you will, you already have) you have been a bouy to so many women. You put a smile on their faces and help them feel normal and like they can do this. And that is priceless.

  4. Em 1 year ago

    Love this ! And you will love this too — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-JXOnFOXQk

  5. EHayes 1 year ago

    I didn’t comment on the pregnancy post, but I did read and think it was great because things like that are hard to say. As always, I love this post too because I too often ride the see saw of crazed idea mania then immediate ‘i cant do that!’ downs. Thanks for being you, inspiring the masses, and being a cheerleader for the rest of us.

  6. Nicole 1 year ago

    Oh gosh, Alison. I’ve been following you for a couple years on various platforms and more than anything else, this is an epiphany I needed. I’m brought to tears by you on multiple occasions! And that’s because you are SO REAL. You make me feel great, rather than feeling “less than” by comparing myself to eeeeeeverybody on the Internet. You inspire me to not be afraid to put myself out there and not wait to share until I feel “insta-perfect.” Thank you. (Insert big sobs of ugly crying.)

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*