Some days you’re just in a funk.
Let’s correct that. Some days, meaning about half of them, I’M in a funk. I can’t speak for you though, but I bet you’re familiar with such funks.
It’s not necessarily that I’m depressed. It’s more like I’m just unimpressed.
Unimpressed with myself, unimpressed with what I’m doing, unimpressed with my decision to eat the last piece of the amazing chiffon pumpkin pie I made in addition to the 2 baby cupcakes I was forced to take home to “Eric” after a bridal shower (that obviously never had the chance to meet Eric). Unimpressed with the tightness of my jeans after eating the aforementioned items. Unimpressed with the city and state I live in. And probably more disgusted than unimpressed with how often I actually deep clean my living space.
I think about what 12-year-old Alison thought 26-year-old Alison would be like, and like I said, it’s not that I get depressed, I’m just not impressed. And I try not to be ungrateful for all I have and all I’ve been given, including my AMAZING HUSBAND but even so, sometimes I underwhelm myself.
I don’t even know what it was that 12-year-old Alison expected. I just know she was extremely demanding, and she just expected more than this. And I know I’ve told you this before. Like I said, I’m a 50/50 girl.
When I get in these moods there is no point to anything. I might as well just eat Ling Ling’s pot stickers and watch whatever season of America’s Next Top Model I can find on rerun and call it quits.
But there is an upside to being as dramatic as I am prone to being. And that is this: just as easily as I slip into a funk, I can usually, just as easily pop right up out of it.
Eric has found, when it comes to me, that most of life’s major problems can be solved with a Diet Coke, and if things are REALLY horrible, a bad dance movie accompanied by a giant tub of popcorn with Sour Patch Kids sprinkled in it does the trick.
That or a cheesy motivational song.
So today, when I slipped into one of these funks in which I could not be more unimpressed with myself. I told myself I was not going to cry. NO CRYING, I said. CRYING IS FOR THE WEAK.
So to keep from crying I turned up the radio and headed to Makerik.
Thankfully Natasha Bedingfield had some inspirational words for me.
We had a conversation that went about like this:
Staring at the blank page before you (This blank page? The one in front of me?)
Open up the dirty window (Yes, I know it’s dirty)
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find (That’s really not the problem)
Reaching for something in the distance (but WHAT! WHAT IS IT NATASHA?)
So close you can almost taste it (I am kind of hungry)
Release your inhibitions (but my mom begged me not to)
Feel the rain on your skin (Oh I see)
No one else can feel it for you (It’s like a metaphor)
Only you can let it in (Only me…ONLY ME?)
No one else, no one else (not even Eric?)
Can speak the words on your lips (That’s right! I am special!)
Drench yourself in words unspoken (I have a unique voice!)
Live your life with arms wide open (I should stop thinking about myself…LOVE OTHERS!)
Today is where your book begins (I’m 26, not 106!)
The rest is still unwritten (You’ve got time to impress yourself yet!)
And just like that. Funk undone.
And so, just in case you’re having one of those days. Remember, that’s all it is. Just one of those days.
So go ahead. Soak up some of Natasha’s wisdom, and remember…
the rest is still unwritten.
The new president of the Natasha Bedingfield fan club