She’s feeling the rain on her face.

She’s feeling the rain on her face.

Some days you’re just in a funk.

Let’s correct that. Some days, meaning about half of them, I’M in a funk. I can’t speak for you though, but I bet you’re familiar with such funks.

It’s not necessarily that I’m depressed. It’s more like I’m just unimpressed.

Unimpressed with myself, unimpressed with what I’m doing, unimpressed with my decision to eat the last piece of the amazing chiffon pumpkin pie I made in addition to the 2 baby cupcakes I was forced to take home to “Eric” after a bridal shower (that obviously never had the chance to meet Eric). Unimpressed with the tightness of my jeans after eating the aforementioned items. Unimpressed with the city and state I live in. And probably more disgusted than unimpressed with how often I actually deep clean my living space.

I think about what 12-year-old Alison thought 26-year-old Alison would be like, and like I said, it’s not that I get depressed, I’m just not impressed. And I try not to be ungrateful for all I have and all I’ve been given, including my AMAZING HUSBAND but even so, sometimes I underwhelm myself.

I don’t even know what it was that 12-year-old Alison expected. I just know she was extremely demanding, and she just expected more than this. And I know I’ve told you this before. Like I said, I’m a 50/50 girl.

When I get in these moods there is no point to anything. I might as well just eat Ling Ling’s pot stickers and watch whatever season of America’s Next Top Model I can find on rerun and call it quits.

But there is an upside to being as dramatic as I am prone to being. And that is this: just as easily as I slip into a funk, I can usually, just as easily pop right up out of it.

Eric has found, when it comes to me, that most of life’s major problems can be solved with a Diet Coke, and if things are REALLY horrible, a bad dance movie accompanied by a giant tub of popcorn with Sour Patch Kids sprinkled in it does the trick.

That or a cheesy motivational song.

So today, when I slipped into one of these funks in which I could not be more unimpressed with myself. I told myself I was not going to cry. NO CRYING, I said. CRYING IS FOR THE WEAK.

So to keep from crying I turned up the radio and headed to Makerik.

Thankfully Natasha Bedingfield had some inspirational words for me.
We had a conversation that went about like this:

Staring at the blank page before you (This blank page? The one in front of me?)
Open up the dirty window (Yes, I know it’s dirty)
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find (That’s really not the problem)

Reaching for something in the distance (but WHAT! WHAT IS IT NATASHA?)
So close you can almost taste it (I am kind of hungry)
Release your inhibitions (but my mom begged me not to)
Feel the rain on your skin (Oh I see)
No one else can feel it for you (It’s like a metaphor)
Only you can let it in (Only me…ONLY ME?)
No one else, no one else (not even Eric?)
Can speak the words on your lips (That’s right! I am special!)
Drench yourself in words unspoken (I have a unique voice!)
Live your life with arms wide open (I should stop thinking about myself…LOVE OTHERS!)
Today is where your book begins (I’m 26, not 106!)
The rest is still unwritten (You’ve got time to impress yourself yet!)

And just like that. Funk undone.

And so, just in case you’re having one of those days. Remember, that’s all it is. Just one of those days.

So go ahead. Soak up some of Natasha’s wisdom, and remember…

the rest is still unwritten.

xoxo,

The new president of the Natasha Bedingfield fan club

15 Comments

  1. AaReAn 5 years ago

    oh, i think i know these days to well. haha i am not going to be one of those girls who blames "that time of the month" on being in one of these familiar "unimpressed" moods. p.s. i like how you called it unimpressed. So as I read on in your post, I started reading the lyrics. By the end I was singing it OUT LOUD. yeah, i really was. And it worked actually! Thank you missy…love your honesty. Oh and maybe you should move back to san diego and we can start our own design company…think about it. :-) fo' reals.

  2. andrea 5 years ago

    or maybe you should just let yourself be in a funk and let snot fall on your skirt.

  3. ferociousnate 5 years ago

    Who is Natasha Bedingfield? Does she work at the Maverick?

  4. Liz 5 years ago

    We really are the same person. Except for the fact that all you need to feel better is a good pop song and some diet coke. I usually end up going to therapy for a period of months.

    Maybe I should get back on diet coke? Lots cheaper than therapy. Yes, all I need is some zero calorie caffeine and to listen to that new ridiculous Kesha song. Have you heard it? Hilarious.

    God bless this blog!

  5. Julia 5 years ago

    I had this exact thought just a week ago…would my 16-year-old self like my current self?

    I came to about the same conclusion as you did and am now reaching for my ipod to find Natasha-therapy.

  6. Megan 5 years ago

    Oh Alison, this is your favorite new neighbor…you know, Megan (don't act like you don't know who your favorite neighbor is).

    Anyway, I am so glad to know that you have these kind of days, it's nice to know I'm not alone. Although I think mine may be permanent!

    Also, don't hate your city…because then you will move, and then I will hate my city. Please, please don't do that to me.

    And one more thing, I think you are great.

    Just kidding, one more thing, love the blog. Glad I found it.

    Bye.

  7. Alison 5 years ago

    LIZ GET BACK ON THE JUICE! seriously. i went off too, it doesn't make you happy. it makes you fatter. well maybe that was just me. but you told me all that time ago it'd make me skinnier, and it didn't!

    GET BACK ON!
    haha

    xoxo

  8. We Three Zweigs 5 years ago

    Do you want some cheese to go with that wine?

  9. Alison 5 years ago

    No! But I wanted some wine for a stew the other day and all the liquor stores were closed and you can't get wine in a grocery store in Utah. So actually, I'd like SOME MORE WINE. poopy pants.

  10. Liz 5 years ago

    Well, it did make me skinnier… at first. But then I got married and lost all desire to run marathons. So now I'm fatter.

    But I've been off DC for 3.5 years now. It was so hard to get off that I don't know if I want to get back on. But maybe it WILL make me skinnier. In fact, maybe all that caffeine will make me so happy that I want to run marathons again! Maybe this is the answer to all of my problems!

    THE REST IS STILL UNWRITTEN!!!

  11. dana and justin 5 years ago

    Don't be sad! I feel SO bad that I had to cancel on you guys for dinner last night. Sebastian came home from the hospital this morning so if you ever want to come see him let me know!!

  12. diana palmer 5 years ago

    brilliant. i wish you wrote on your blog every day. i really do.

  13. Sarah Flib 5 years ago

    Hey Alison. Man, Madeline and I even came to visit you yesterday (apparently when you were in your funk), but you weren't home. I'm glad Natasha was there for you instead.

  14. DOMINICI 5 years ago

    You always get me out of my days of funk.

  15. T.RIPPY 5 years ago

    I'm the mayor of the district of funkosity

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